visual poetry

Cover Letter

2012-01-05T16:13:00.002-06:00

I'm looking for work.

The changed economy means that I'm finding I have to work much harder to get the attention of employers. It's something of an adjustment, as in the past I've gotten jobs easily. Send out a dozen resumes, get two or three calls back, get offered each job I interview for. (No, seriously, I've only ever been turned down for two jobs I actually interviewed for - one based on a failed proofreading test I took with a 101 degree fever. Though I suspect that the interviews will be harder this time around, as well.)

So I decided I need to write stronger cover letters.
I picked out the employer I most want to work for in Dallas, and sent them this:

I sent you my portfolio and some links earlier this week, and am following up with an updated resume.

It occurs to me there are a few things that might not be apparent from my resume. I have a lot to offer any creative team, and would be an asset to [the Company].

For example, my resume can't tell you that when I was a baby, a stranger walked up to my mother on the beach and composed a spontaneous poem about me - and because of this, she always knew I would be a writer. It would not tell you that the single piece of writing I am most proud of is not one of my published poems, or an ad I wrote for my multi-million dollar LaQuinta campaign - but the essay on my fundraiser page for the Breast Cancer 3-Day walk.

My resume can tell you I've worked as Chef, and as a Massage Therapist - but it may not tell you what that brings to my work in advertising and marketing. As a Chef, I learned not only about food, but about the business cycles of the restaurant industry, about how to appeal to a client there, and about the importance of dealing with customer complaints because you need a dozen happy customers to make up for the damage one unhappy one can do. I also learned about balancing customer expectation with my own creative expression. As a Massage Therapist, I not only became comfortable with medical terminology, and the pain management industry, but I learned how to approach clients who are making themselves vulnerable. How to build trust, and establish expertise in the 3-5 minutes I have with them before they have to let me touch them.

It may be clear from my resume that I learned about poetry - but it does not tell you that the honors English teacher I had in 10th grade taught us to write 10-12 page research papers, and to properly cite resources. To work quotes seamlessly into my writing and yet still establish my own perspective. Then the following year, the honors English teacher for 11th grade (and the 10th grade teachers best friend) refused to read past the third page - teaching us to distill our ideas and write with concision.

It also does not tell you that I have a strong visual aesthetic, which, in my experience, is not a given in a writer. That when I took the proofreading exam at Michael's, I was the first proofreader who caught the visual errors. One was an incorrect product image, intentionally placed. The other was an incorrect "burst," which I questioned because the edges of the layers were not lined up correctly - something which was an accidental error that the creator of the test had missed.

That visual sense was, in part, developed through the print shop courses I took in college. I learned to place hand-set type, to carve a linocut in reverse for printing, to lay out a booklet. I also learned a few basic principles of type design and layout. It's amazing that, with the advanced software we have, many of the principles are still the same and much of the way that a program like Quark works is based on the insertion of lead and kerns, or the layering of a multi-color lithograph.

I hope this gives you a better sense of who I am, and some of what I would bring to the job. Well, if nothing else, you are sure to understand my enthusiasm for the opportunity.

- Laura Deerfield

It's long, yes. But personal. I hope this at least gets me a call - if not, I can use it as a basis for other letters, to better communicate my unique qualifications to employers.

An Alternative Approach

2011-09-25T00:48:00.003-06:00

In 2004, Eric Heisserer posted what are, ostensibly, a series of emails from an old friend. (The Dionaea House) Someone they knew way back when had committed a double homicide and suicide, and he was driven by guilt to try to find out what had happened to the guy to drive him to it.

As you read them, they start to imply something supernatural. A haunted house kind of story. The original series of posts ends in September 2004, with an addendum which then links to other blogs and even an instant message transcript.

There's more followup a year after the main body of the story took place.

With it, he creates a well-written spooky story that had some people wondering if it were true, some wondering whether he believed it to be true, a few playing along, and many more just enjoying a good scary story.

He also got himself the beginnings of a screenwriting career. He sold the screenplay (not sure if he sold the rights to the story and had a screenplay deal, or if he completed the screenplay before approaching studios) to Warner. While that project foundered, he has, in the few years following, landed some enviable screenwriting jobs: The Nightmare on Elm Street reboot, Final Destination 5, and The Thing prequel.

It's important to show originality as a screenwriter. Eric's example proves that it doesn't necessarily have to be with a screenplay. Despite the unconventional format of the epistolary story, The Dionaea House still has a beginning, middle, and end. It still starts with a strong hook, then builds slowly with background about the character and hints at the story. It follows conventional horror movie tropes (don't go in the house alone!) but presents them in a fresh and very contemporary way.

His writing career began in the tabletop RPG industry, so writing the story in an episodic way makes sense. Combine that with a strong sense of visual description, and you have a powerful story that you can "see" as a movie while you read it.

_______
P.S.
I just read that he actually sold a screenplay in 2000 and optioned one in 2002, so his breakout project was not his first rodeo in Hollywood.

Regarding the Dionaea House, he wrote the screenplay and then decided to create the online story and present that rather than try to sell a spec. He had begun creating the various sites that he was using to write the story, and, before the whole thing was online, it got indexed by search engines. (Knowing a little about site optimization for search, he accidentally did some great site design by having disparate sources linking back to each other with text containing similar words. This would increase the apparent validity of the site to crawlers.) He literally woke up one morning and there were millions of hits. It took on a life of its own, as many thousands of people believed it was real (or at least that he was really party to someone else's hoax) and reporters, ministers, and PIs contacted him about it. So, as with all Hollywood success stories, there was a bit of pure luck there - he just has a good enough story for it to catch fire when the match came near.

Women in Hollywood - Still a Long Way to Go

2011-09-20T15:29:00.004-06:00

Hollywood is biased against women. (Everything I say goes for blacks, latinos, and asians as well - but I'm not as well informed about those issues, so I'll stick to speaking about women.)

I beat this drum often.

Why? Because it's true, as backed up by studies, and yet I am still told by people both in the industry and trying to break into it that it's a myth. I am told that there must just be few women trying to break in. Or (more insultingly) that it's all about talent and hard work, and that real talent will find a champion - implying that women are either less talented, or less hard-working, or both than men by a massive ratio. Because, again, statistics show that there are far fewer women in important roles in the movie industry.

I strongly believe that one of the most significant barriers to change in this is this lack of belief that there's a problem. This is backed up by the experiences of Geena Davis, who noticed, as she was raising her children, that there were not as many girls in the lead roles in kids entertainment. Her subjective experience was dismissed, so she started a foundation, and studied the matter - and then approached people with evidence. And many of them re-thought their casting, or their writing.

I understand when people dismiss the stories I relate. Stories about women I have talked to who have been told they can't write or direct action, or can't direct period. Who have been told they'd do better as a producer, because no one will hire them as a director. That no one will hire them as a cinematographer, because women don't work behind the camera. Or that they are not hired for crew because it's heavy, hard work, and out on location there might not be a place to plug in a curling iron. Or that women can't write for an international audience, because the asian market is mostly male. Women who have had men look past them and talk to their 15 years junior male assistant. Or been told that they are too pretty, and men won't want to work with them because their wives might get jealous of all the time they'd have to spend together. Or that Catherine Hardwicke was told she wouldn't even be allowed to pitch directing The Fighter, not because she's only directed teen fare, but "because it had to be directed by a man."

What I don't understand is how people can look at the statistics on women in film and still say there is not a problem, and a large one. How they can think that such large discrepancies would be based on anything other than discrimination. Some of it conscious, but most of it just a matter of guys relating more easily to guys in an industry that's all about who you know.

What are the statistics?
According to the most recent report by the Director's Guild about television series -

"In the 2009-2010 television season, Caucasian males directed 75% of the episodes surveyed; Caucasian females directed 11% of episodes; minority males directed 12% of episodes; and minority females directed 2% of episodes."

Per the most recent study by the WGA -

"women writers remain stuck at 28 percent of television employment, while their share of film employment actually declined a percentage point since the last report to 17 percent."

"These figures indicate a [...] gender earnings gap [of] $14,017. [...] Nonetheless, this relative gain on the earnings front for women film writers was offset somewhat by the recent loss in employment share"

From the 2010 Celluloid Ceiling report -

On the top 250 domestic grossing films:
- In 2010, women comprised 16% of all directors, executive producers, producers, writers, cinematographers, and editors working. This represents a decline of 1 percentage point from 1998 and is even with 2009 figures.
- Women comprised 7% of all directors
- Women accounted for 10% of writers
- Women accounted for 24% of all producers
- Women accounted for 18% of all editors
- Women comprised 2% of all cinematographers
- Women were most likely to work in the romantic comedy, documentary, and romantic drama genres. They were least likely to work in the horror, action, and comedy genres.

Why are these statistics shocking to me? Let's quote the LA Times: "A woman is more likely to hold a seat on a Fortune 500 company board (15%), serve as a member of the clergy (15%) or work as an aerospace engineer (10%) than she is to direct a Hollywood movie (7%)." I'd say that's a problem.

I do not believe for a moment that these statistics represent the interest, perseverance, or talent of women trying to work in the American film industry.

Oh, and as for those who believe that men are somehow inherently able to make more profitable movies?
On average, films employing at least one woman as director, executive producer, producer, or writer grossed approximately the same at domestic box offices ($82.1 vs. $81.9 million) as films with only men in these roles. (Study cited here)

The Importance of Actors

2011-08-24T01:59:00.003-06:00

I recently watched "Letters to Juliette." It's not a film I would normally have watched. I like RomComs occasionally, especially when I want something escapist, but this movie seemed to be pitched to high-school girls and the leads seemed immature. I watched this movie despite that, because it had Vanessa Redgrave. And I like the idea of an older woman searching for her true love. Romance for grandmothers doesn't happen often in the movies. Even so, it almost lost me before she even arrived.

The familiar tropes are there, which is fine for a Romantic Comedy. The concept is a little bit different and clever. But the characters and dialogue fail miserably. The lead is dull and wimpy, with an annoying fiance and no clear reason for them to be together. None. Yes, we know the guy she's with at the beginning will be the wrong guy, but if there's no good reason for them to be in a relationship - it undermines the integrity of the characters.

Then you have the romantic interest, who is such a completely boorish, rude, pretentious little twit it's impossible to empathize with him, even when his motivation for bad behaviour is supposedly for a good reason (to protect his grandmother.) And even after spending time together, there's no real build of any connection between them. And the girl's project seems silly and selfish - there's no real depth of insight.

But then there's Ms. Redgrave.

She breathes, and makes it a moment. She takes the most trite lines and delivers them in surprising ways. There is a scene when she is reprimanding her grandson for being hurtful to Amanda Seyfriend's character - and the most obvious delivery of the lines would have been harsh or angry. But she sighs, and with a gentle gesture, turns it into a tender and affectionate moment.

Really, calling this a comedy is a stretch - there are a couple of funny moments, but they are handled poorly. The actors, mostly, are too weak to make their characters believable, funny, or likable. Except for Vanessa Redgrave. It was worth watching a bad film, just because it highlighted the beauty of her performance.

This film made it clear to me, too, the importance of good actors. A decent line will fall flat in a bad actor's mouth. An average actor may disappear when playing an average character - but a good actor, like a good photographer, may make even and ugly baby look beautiful

an old poem

2011-05-28T23:03:00.000-06:00

this came up in conversation on facebook... I wrote this 20 years ago

Alight

I, curled tight,
buried under blankets
as if the brooding earth,
respond
to the slow dawn
unfurling,
stretch, breaking open:
a shoot from the seed
serpent from the shell.

Sunlight
(warm as spooning on my back)
pierces me,
busts through my split hull
and out
my belly
low,
spreading into a sheer skirt
illuminating my labia.

Nails graze my spine,
a drawn out sigh,
caress of sunlight
illuminating my body.

Witness
the seraphim rebirth:
tripled wings erupting
slow motion unfurling;
screaming
as shoulder blades
cut
my back &
wings burst through.

I rise from my bed with the sun.
Demonangel darkness is
another shade of light.

Streeetch

2010-11-17T02:45:00.002-06:00

Writing a single, continuous 9 page scene with no time cuts or location changes is a challenge.

More later.

Cinematic Writing

2010-09-11T01:11:00.002-06:00

It surprises me, talking to folks who are new to screenwriting, how many of them don't have a movie in their head. If you don't see a film, how are you going to make anyone else see it? They are telling a story, not creating a film. This often becomes clear if you ask them - what is character y doing while x and z are talking here? Or some other detail about something they put in the room and then left alone. They aren't *seeing* the scene.

Of course, I've always imagined somewhat cinematically. Even my most abstract poems (with the exception of a couple of grad-school literary cut-up experiments) run in my head as a short film. And I can tell you what every detail of each frame looks like.

Then there's the other sticking point - once you have the movie in your head, knowing how much to put down on paper to evoke those images in another person's head. Most of us have been told enough times not to overwrite that it's less common to see an overly florid screenplay than one which chooses such generic descriptions/dialogue that they flatten out and the flavor of the imagined story is lost. You can do a lot with the flavor of the language, rather than endless description - something I learned from poetry.

Yes, the language of a screenplay is stripped down, basic and straight-forward. That doesn't mean it can't be evocative. Your hero can walk down a wet street, or they can splash through the wet grime of rain-slicked asphalt.

My signature on Triggerstreet is: "Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass..." (Chekhov) and it illustrated perfectly what I mean. The moon may be shining, but what we see is the glint of light...and that piece of glass can add to a threatening or a down-trodden tone, depending on context.

Every word matters, every word is a chance to evoke the movie you see, in your reader's head.

By the Sequence

2010-09-01T21:57:00.006-06:00

I've written about the sequence approach to structure before here, but recently discussed the actual progression of sequences on the boards at Triggerstreet. Thought I'd share that here as well.

The idea behind the sequence approach is that each section has a beginning, middle and end, and each has its own conflict and resolution or reversal. This not only helps to assure you have tension and stakes all the way through, but gives the rhythm a rise and fall, peaks and valleys.

These sequences can blend well with a three-act structure, the mini-resolutions falling around the turning points, or they can be seen as following their own rhythm. Shorter sequences, interspersed, can be used to develop sub-plots.

At any rate, you only have to think 12 pages at a time. And if you feel you need one or two more sequences, that's possible.

Here are breakdowns for It Happened One Night and Rushmore.

Now, the guy who wrote the book on the sequence approach lays them out like this (but other uses of the sequences are possible):

- Setup: The hook - a puzzle, conundrum, question in the audiences mind - used to stimulate curiosity. Then a picture of the protagonist before the story proper begins, the kind of person and type of life they have now. Ends with a Catalyst, the intrusion of instability into normal events.

- Development: The main plot point (or central dramatic question) is set out. Protag comes to terms w/ the change in circumstance, or tries to put things back as they were. This attempt fails - usually with some kind of big event (first act turning point) which signals the point of no return

- Special World: Protagonist tries to solve the problems posed at the end of the last sequence, usually an easy fix attempt which fails. Protag ventures out of their usual world and they have to learn the rules of the new domain that they have entered before they can move forward. (often a training or learning sequence)

- Game: The easy fix inevitably makes things worse, there is a desperate attempt to return to normality. Usually results in a revelation which makes everything more complicated and difficult for the protagonist. The protagonist may have a very real chance of winning only to have this feeling rapidly reversed. (midpoint reversal)

- Grace: Protagonist grapples with a new situation after the midpoint culmination and twist - leading to new situations (or a new view of them). Sometimes the quest changes direction. Usually ends w/ another change, another raise in stakes, and often confrontation w/ the antagonist

- Intensification: The main dramatic question is answered, the main tension is resolved. Can either be a dark night or a bright spot before the last reversal.

- Sprint: The apparent resolution brings unexpected consequences, which have to be dealt with immediately. Often a complete reversal of apparent objectives. The final showdown.

- Resolution: wrap up and come-down

Characters I Love

2010-07-06T21:53:00.004-06:00

I'm a bit of an oddity, in that for much of my adult life, I haven't had TV. A television, to watch movies on, sure. But no TV service.

Since I've been living with my sister, though, she subscribes and I've gotten into watching several shows. The thing I find I love most is the ability for TV to create complex characters over time. People can display far more unlikable qualities but still win you over. They can be contradictory or surprising in ways that are much harder to get to in a movie.

Some of my favorites:

House - the perfect example of someone unlikable that you end up loving. Major kudos to the writers, but especially to Hugh Laurie, who can convey an iceberg worth of subtext with a single close-up, so that there doesn't ever have to be dialogue spelling out his deeper feelings.

Mary Shannon on In Plain Sight - again, in no small part due to the acting of Mary McCarthy, but also skilled writing that always places her in a situation that's designed to push and stretch her.

Also brilliant, the way she basically plays a typical man (her car, her tastes, her view of right and wrong, her difficulty having relationships, etc) and her partner is a man who displays all the typical qualities of a woman (sensitivity, nurturing, into poetry, indirect in his communication, and so on). Watch her on one or two shows, she's amusing. (In fact, the series took a season or so to find balance so that she wasn't over the top.) Over the course of the series, she's fascinating.

Criminal Minds has two great characters I love. They used to have three, but one left the show. Reed, the savant and Penelope, the hacker. In a movie Reed would not be dynamic enough to carry it, and would probably be a lesser member of an ensemble. Given a series, there's time to tease out the background of a character who is internal and socially awkward. In a movie, Penelope would probably just be a joke, the comic relief. Cut to the quirky hacker chick. But on the show, she's had time to develop into a tender and loving woman, who is, in many ways, the heart of the show.

Other characters who would be simply lost in a film, and likely would barely have a chance to breathe and develop are the secondary characters Heddy on NCIS Los Angeles and Walter in Fringe. Heddy is still a relatively minor character, but man, do I want to be her when I grow up. The hints at her exotic and exciting life, )without ever revealing too much) her cultured sensibilities, and her ability to dig in and be a bitch when needed make her a delight. And, well, it *is* Linda Hunt. Walter is wonderful because he runs the gamut from childlike and lost to brilliant and threatening. The ability to have a character who is at once endearing and terrifying is rare. I haven't seen Splice yet, but suspect that what they wanted from their creature is something akin to what Fringe captures in Walter.

Finally, my favorite character on Television: Dexter.
Need I say more?
OK, maybe you're not a fan of the series. Maybe you're one of those who think the obsession with serial killers is a sign of a sick society - but the serial killer thing is just what gets people to turn the show on. What keeps them watching is how relatable Dexter is.
We've all had times when we were confused by other people, when we didn't understand what the social norm was, or what was expected from us. When other people felt like another species, and we had to watch carefully to guess how to act (and sometimes get it wrong.) As a sociopath, Dexter has to work to pick up the social rules and cues that most of us get by default, but most of us have had times when we felt as uncertain around others as he does.
We all have a dark part of ourselves we hide, and have been in danger of it coming out. Maybe we even fear that we'll lose our loved ones if they knew about our dark secret. It's not as dark as Dexter's - but many of us have a "dark passenger" of some kind.
Many of us also have a strong internal code that guides us, and have to deal with times that our code may come into conflict with either society's laws or our own desires.

I'm definitely seeing the usefulness for TV as a storytelling medium as I learn to love these complex characters.

Reviving Desire's Revenge

2010-07-06T00:00:00.004-06:00

I'm pulling up my short Desire's Revenge and turning it into a feature in response to a challenge on Triggerstreet.

I've always intended to, but planned to finish some other projects first...which has gone real well (not). At any rate, there's a deadline, and deadlines are my best friend for creative projects. Without them I tend to tinker and rethink and retool and re-imagine for ages.

followup to last post

2010-06-30T15:54:00.003-06:00

Excellent blog from Danny Stack on "original voice."

He essentially says not to be afraid to be more writerly, to use language to paint pictures, to tell a story.

Voice

2010-06-23T09:00:00.004-06:00

Ever read something and know immediately who wrote it?

Most of us have a clear voice in our casual writing. Our blog posts and e-mails tend to reflect our speaking style. And yet when it comes to creative writing, many find it a struggle to develop a unique voice.

I've been using the internet since the very earliest days, before it was the WWW. Back then, we all knew each other. No, I'm serious.

It was Usenet, in 1989 or 90. I learned how distinct my voice was in my casual writing in the early days of online interaction when I tried to post anonymously to a group. I was trying to be anonymous (did I mention we all knew each other?,) and consciously changed my capitalization and punctuation style to hide who I was...and said a couple of snarky things about an acquaintance. When he confronted me, it was clear he didn't even realize I'd been trying to hide. This made me wonder what it was that constituted my voice.

(note: I've also since come to realize that our casual writing voice and our creative voice is not the same thing - the former comes more naturally, while the latter takes time to nurture)

Stephen King says that a writer must pen a million words before they develop their voice. (I always wonder - do re-writes count?) When I started asking people about my "voice" as a writer, several said that I had a strong one as a poet. Of course, poetry is distilled writing. Like greek yogurt, the watery stuff drained out and intensified. (Yes, it's a goofy metaphor, but it fits and I didn't sleep well last night.) Perhaps writing in that form honed my voice earlier. Then again, most critics consider a poet under 40 to be young. Of course, I'd been writing poetry regularly for about ten years, so maybe I had hit my million words.

Reading voraciously helped. Having read nearly all the works of Shakespeare (plays and sonnets) before I was 17. Most of the work of the Romantics, plus ee cummings and Edna St. Vincent Millay. Not to mention fantasy novels. Scary stories. Mysteries. And by the time I was doing this investigation into voice (at age 19 or 20,) a great deal of postmodern literature and criticism. In fact, at that point I was so into Derrida and Foucault and Hakim Bey that I'm sure their influence came out even in my most casual writing.

That year, my third year of college, I was in a poetry workshop. Some of the young writers disdained reading other poets, for fear they would dilute or corrupt their own voice. One week, an outspoken champions of this idea objected to the reading assignments and passed around his work prefaced by a speech on the subject. I read his poem. Then I asked him if he'd read any novels lately. He said, of course. I then asked whether that might be Bret Easton Ellis he was reading. He seemed surprised - but his work sounded like a bad imitation of Ellis, broken into verse on the page.

What we read influences us. What we hear and see. There's no way around it. On Star Trek, when Data is trying to learn to play the violin, he struggles to find his voice as a musician. He consciously makes the choices we all make subconsciously - assembling his performance out of pieces of the masters' performances. Someone points out to him that this assemblage is his voice. That the particular combination in his knowledge base, and his choices about how to combine them became something new and unique. The best choice to make is to seek out an array of influences. To bombard ourselves with so many voices that no single one stands out when we sit to write.

So, other than reading a lot and writing a lot - what else can we do to develop and strengthen our voice? Some suggestions:

Trust your instincts. Your internal voice will come out in your creative writing, if you let it. (If it doesn't work, that's what rewrites are for.)

Enjoy what you're doing. If you allow your imagination to play with language, you will make more creative choices.

Know the rules. Having a strong grasp of the basics of grammar and storytelling will free you to stop thinking about those things, and focus your attention on the story, and the telling of it.

Go ahead and borrow. One of my favorite exercises for a developing writer, and one I still use when I'm studying someone, is to consciously imitate them. Try writing 5 pages in the style of Minghella, or Shane Black - and it will make you think about the choices they made, and what makes their style distinctive.

Listen. Your influences are all around you. Your family, friends and neighbors contribute to your voice as much as who you read and try to emulate.

Get rid of your favorite tricks. Like "murder your darlings," this points out the difference between what we think works for us and what does. If you have any consciously adopted stylistic tricks or flourishes, try writing without them. You may find (as I did with my anonymous Usenet post) that your voice shines through even more clearly.

Finally - after you've done all that: stop trying. Ultimately, your voice is you. How hard can that be to express?

Now, this is (primarily) a screenwriting blog. Screenplays are minimalist, blueprints. They're about story and character, not style. So is there even a place for voice in them? I'd say, yes. Absolutely. If you have any doubt - go back and read the work of three of your favorite screenwriters.

I'm Pissed at You

2010-06-22T00:18:00.006-06:00

Mystery Man, I'm mad at you.
Not "golly, you rascal, you had me going gee gosh I'm so mad"
but white-hot furious.
I thought better of you.
I even said as much multiple times.
I said you wouldn't allow people who cared about you to grieve. That you would not be that cruel or careless. That you were a gentleman, and simply a good guy.

I was wrong.
I *grieved* for you, you son of a bitch.
I *cried* for days.
I was heartbroken.
And it was just some kind of stunt?

We all understand you needed to leave the Mystery Man persona behind, and would have understood retiring it. To tell people you were dead was a crappy way to do it.

I've lost respect for you.
I have added your accounts on facebook and twitter because I know I will forgive you (I'm very forgiving for a Scorpio) and don't want to lose track of you in the meantime.

___________

Creativity and Decisions

2010-04-19T00:45:00.006-06:00

So, I have an idea. I think it's a really good idea. It falls into a sub-genre of thrillers I think of as daddy-daughter flicks, in which a father must rescue or revenge his little (often teenage) girl.

The problem I'm having is that I have an abundance of ideas about how to approach it.

I know who the main character is. I know who his antagonist and con-tagonists are. I know what the ending is, and I know everyone's motivations.

That still leaves me with a HUGE range of creative choices. I could write two or three complete screenplays based on these characters in this situation and have them be distinctly different.

The first dillemma: how much backstory do I front-load?
I could open with the scene of what happened to this man's daughter, showing just enough but leaving out some details that would be revealed later. The main character has suppressed parts of this event, but is also driven by it.
Or, flash back to it a few times as he encounters the individuals he's seeking revenge on, and as he remembers more. A little of this will happen regardless, because of the memory issue, but flashbacks are so tricky, perhaps they are best left alone. They seem natural to this storyline, but perhaps the audience will be more involved, and the structure will be simpler if I go with the first option.
Another approach: only hint at the event, dropping information through conversations and confrontations, without ever really showing it. I *could* even do this combined with the first option - showing very little in the opening scene, through the protag's faulty memory, and then hinting through the reactions of others that there was much more to the story

None of those are bad choices. Honestly, I love the third approach - not even showing the event, but teasing information about it through each scene, until we have a good idea - but never a 100% complete one...I'm just not sure my craft is strong enough to make that work on the page without being confusing. It's a problem I've had before.

The other major dramatic choice I'm making is between two basic approaches to the story. Make it a standard thriller-hunt type film like Taken? Or a mostly-single location psychological drama like The Negotiator and Albino Alligator?

The hunt has terrific possibilities for chase scenes, big set pieces, and lots of great cathartic torture them for info then blow them away moments. Basically, he knows where one of the people he's hunting for is, and uses them to get to the next one, leaving a trail of carnage and attracting the attention of the police. The pacing would be fast, and the story would be visceral.

The second option - have most of the people he's hunting gathered in one location, where he secures them and isolates them, then confronts each of them for information about the "truth" and the location/identity of the person who is really responsible for the bad thing that happened. Again, I lean toward this, but it's trickier to keep it interesting and tense.

Of course, I could actually write two screenplays...but since I've not written any (feature-length) scripts in a while, I think I'd better focus on just one!

Getting Back Into It

2010-02-25T01:17:00.003-06:00

Finally read and reviewed another screenplay on Triggerstreet:
Read Here

Hey, it took me almost 6 years to get my life back on track after my husband died. This period of grief wasn't nearly so bad. I even started a new career... just let my writing go by the wayside and let all my friends fade from my life.

I'll be honest, I missed the former more than the latter. Nothing meant to slight any old friends - but the writing has always meant more to me. Friends have always been more separate, some of them genuinely adored, but not really taken in to my heart. People I actually felt close to very, very rare.

Freedom, Structure & Creativity

2010-01-04T00:42:00.002-06:00

Recently, I stumbled on "another bored college student" blogging that she "really want(s) to write a screenplay," but she is

so used to free writing which is a better fit for novel writing. Screenplay writing is very specific and every scene needs to have a purpose and function to the pace and story as a whole. So by definition it's more of a formulaic writing than free flow writing. It sucks the creativity out of it.

There's the popular-with-youngsters idea that free writing is truly creative, because it's free. If I read a novel and there are chapters that don't serve the overall purpose in some way, I get frustrated. In poetry, each stanza (each word) should be relevant and appropriate. Free writing is useful only in diaries and exercises - not for anything intended to be communicated to others.

But more than that is the complaint I came across often among poets when I was studying writing in college: that form and structure, that limits in general, were antithetical to creativity. In fact, the opposite is true. Limits engender creativity.

Interesting and original art typically comes from the streets, the poor, the oppressed. The people who have the most limits. People whose time, resources, and even daily activities are the most circumscribed.

Interesting and original art creates it's own form, where a form did not exist.

In grad school, I found that wrestling an unformed thought into the bindings of a sonnet, villanelle, or pantoum forced me to exercise my mind in a way that free form poetry does not. Giving it those limits forced me to be more careful with my phrases, and allowed me to play the language against the structure in ways that created meaning that is not possible in free verse. The form allows you to draw attention to specific words by their placement, and to tie one word or stanza to another - through the form - and create layers of meaning. You build layers, like a good wall (or a cake!), and repetition gives it strength. Or like passes of ink over a silkscreen, the color intensifying each time it's pushed through the form.

If you really want to write a screenplay, you want to write something that is identifiable as a movie. Movies have certain specific limits, and the limits of narrative in that medium also create opportunities for creativity. Where else can you have image and reaction? Where you have the complexities of visual storytelling possible in painting paired with the dynamism of movement? Where you can contrast an image or action with sound and create meaning from that? And yet, yes, it has to have a story. It has to have a beginning, middle, and an end. It has to make sense to others. And there's no point in having scenes that, well, don't have a point.

If you really want to write a screenplay, you also have to want to write something that reads well on the page. That does not ramble, that does not turn inward, and that does not waste time on anything that is not the movie. That is tight, and neat, with lots of white space.

If you really want to write a screenplay, you want to write something that moves, on the page. That the reading of it takes you on the journey - whether it's a stroll, a dance, or a hard run. The structure of the segments and scenes, of the short dialogue and brief descriptions are kinetic. Good screenplays use the limits of the medium to create an experience on the page that moves.

Creativity does not end with formula and structure. Creativity rejoices - because like water flowing in a river, it only gets to sing when it passes over the stones.

Getting Organized

2010-01-01T15:35:00.002-06:00

My goal for this year (I wouldn't call it a resolution) is to get organized. My room, my office, and my kitchen are a mess - lots of stuff, in piles, randomly stuck into drawers or cabinets and forgotten about or lost.

This is partly because I'm, well, lazy. But largely because I moved into this house while my mother was dying, and have only in the last few weeks really begun to feel back to myself. In fact, just yesterday, felt good, good in a way that made it clear how rarely I've felt more than OK in the past few years. I grieve for a long time.

I've read that when people whose space is organized are more organized and productive in their work, and that matches my own experience. It's not simply a matter of habits carrying over - it's the setting. Clutter is distracting. Makes for messy thinking. Also, for me, provides a constant nagging "I should be" that keeps me from diving in to projects I care about.

So, my goal is to spend my vacation organizing, finding places for my stuff, weeding out stuff I don't need, cleaning. Then to set about organizing my activities, finding room for my writing, exercise, play time with the dog, and going out to movies and dinner... and then to keep organized throughout the year.

NYC Midnight challenge round 3

2009-11-25T03:52:00.003-06:00

Somehow, I managed to land in the middle of my group last round, and squeak by into the next one.

Of course, I thought it was going to be this coming weekend - and Yahoo glitched and held my mail from Thursday night through Saturday night... so I didn't even read that I had made it until Sunday am. I had to think of an idea at work, and come home and write it in a couple of hours.

Though, really, 2-3 hours seems to be par for this course. I always end up writing the script in about that time.

This one went more smoothly, as it was a more comfortable genre and setting for me: Fantasy in a Cemetery. The object was a first aid kit.

I uploaded to Google docs, since some folks find the Scrippets format hard to read for more than a few lines.

I had fun. Let me know what you think. Cemetery Lanterns

NYC Midnight challenge round 2

2009-10-29T01:07:00.003-06:00

Genre: Comedy
Setting: The North Pole
Object: Crutches

Pole to Pole

FADE IN

INT. TV STUDIO - DAY

CHRISTINE, a perfectly coifed Asian woman in a tropical print dress addresses the camera.

CHRISTINE

They've made it to the finals. Our Pole-to-Pole contestants have traveled for hours, and now arrive at their secret destination.

Behind her, a huge screen shows brightly a painted helicopter landing on a vast expanse of ice. A CREW MEMBER opens the door, and helps 4 CONTESTANTS step out. They wear blindfolds.

EXT. THE NORTH POLE - DAY

CAMERA OPERATORS, MIC OPERATORS and CREW swirl around the helicopters.

The 4 blindfolded contestants, 2 men, 2 women, are taken by the hand and walked to a flag stuck in the ice.

They stand there, attempting to look heroic.

In the background, a head in a pointed cap pops up from a crack in the ice. No one sees it, and it ducks away again.

Trucks and generators are all on one side, leaving the view behind the contestants empty and imposing.

THE DP walks out from one of the trucks, and shouts

THE DP

And...cut. Keep your blindfolds on. Stay in place, OK.

The contestants are bundled up in fashionable gear.

TOM, late-30s, square-jawed and not much over 5'2", flaps his arms across his chest.

TOM

Fuck it's colder than a witch's tit out here.

BRANDI, 21, with blonde braids and cocoa skin, tilts her head, and puts her hands on her hips.

BRANDI

Are you for real? Who says that?

TOM

Hey, can you fucking guys get it together? Are we ready to proceed here already?

The camera operators huddle together. They ignore Tom.

CHAD, mid-20s, tall with dark hair, is shifting back and forth, and tugging at the neck of his coat.

CHAD

Where are we? I didn't think anyplace was this cold in July.

STEPHANIE, late-20s, perks up.

STEPHANIE

Actually, the seasons in the southern hemisphere are reversed. They must have brought us south of the equator.

She tilts her head back, trying to see under her blindfold.

INT. TV STUDIO - DAY

CHRISTINE

Unbeknownst to our finalists, one camera has continued to film them.

On the video screen:

TOM

All I know is this [beep]-ing place is [beep]-ing cold and I'm [beep] [beep] that this is taking so [beep]-ing long.

BRANDI

What is it with you and that mouth?

CHAD

I just hope this doesn't chap my skin. I don't want my cheeks to be all red.

EXT. THE NORTH POLE - DAY

The DP approaches, camera and crew move back in place.

THE DP

All right, folks, we're going again. And five, four, three

He motions 2 and 1.

The contestants put on their game faces again.

One of the boom operaters seems to have shrunk in size. And... are his ears pointed?

The contestants pull off their blindfolds with clumsy, frozen fingers. They look around.

TOM

Well, I'll be f....

He looks at the camera a moment.

TOM

...a monkey's uncle.

BRANDI

You have a serious problem. I don't know what kind, but you got it.

CHAD

We're...nowhere.

He spins in a circle.

Stephanie pulls a compass out of a pocket.

She excitedly steps up and down, and starts bouncing around.

STEPHANIE

This is so cool! Do you know where we are?

The others just look at her.

STEPHANIE

The North Pole!

CHAD

Where are the elves?

Brandi rolls her eyes.

The tiny boom operator slowly backs away, and slips away from the crew. An ASSISTANT carrying coffee sees him, and his jaw drops.

INT. TV STUDIO - DAY

Christine walks over to a stage with a stripper pole, and the logo "Pole to Pole".

CHRISTINE

They've danced all over the world. Now, our contestants must dance in freezing temperatures, on a pole at the North Pole.

INT. LARGE YURT - DAY

The floor is ice. Chairs are set up in front of a small stage with a stripper pole. Heaters are set around the stage.

The contestants stand in front of it staring.

STEPHANIE

I suppose the pole might be warm enough once the heaters get going.

TOM

Fuck this.

He stops out of the tent.

CHAD

I never understood how that troll made it this far.

EXT. THE NORTH POLE - DAY

Tom stomps past the crew trucks, muttering. Something catches his eye. He goes to a crack in the ice, and suddenly the elf reaches up, grabs his ankle, and pulls him down.

He gets stuck a moment at chest height, struggling to pull himself back out. Then stops.

TOM

Fuck me.

He disappears from sight.

INT. LARGE YURT - DAY

The other three contestants are at a sound board, getting their songs ready to go.

The elf darts out, holding a pot, and runs to the stage. He smears something greasy on the pole.

INT. LARGE YURT - LATER

A small audience hoots and hollers, while music plays.

Chad stretches, to the side of the stage, with big movements designed to draw attention. Stephanie hobbles on crutches.

Brandi, in a sexy dress, tries to dance, but can't get any friction on the pole. Every time she tries to climb up it, she slips down fast.

The audience boos.

She makes one last desperate attempt, flinging her legs upward, and wrapping them around the pole - only to slide down and land hard on her butt.

BRANDI

Someone greased this pole.

She hobbles off the stage, fuming.

Chad steps up, rips open his coat, and flings himself at the pole, trying to swing around it. His hand slips off, and he ends up falling off the other side of the stage.

CHAD

Ow. Not fair.

Suddenly, Tom walks in, wearing shades. But...he's even shorter. And his clothes are baggy. It's the elf.

The other contestants stare.

ELF

Fucking cue my goddamn music, bitches.

A moment of dead silence, and then a song starts.

The elf hops onto the stage, and whips off his scarf. He wraps it around the pole, and shimmies as he rubs it up and down, cleaning the pole.

Off come the hat and sunglasses. The audience gasps.

INT. TV STUDIO - DAY

On the big screen behind Christine, Tom, Brandi, and Stephanie sit in the yurt, bandaged. Stephanie's crutches are beside her.

CHRISTINE

And now, based on your votes from all across the nation, our first Pole-to-Pole champion!

The elf comes out, wearing nothing but a tiny thong and shades. He looks like a male model - shrunk in the wash, with pointy ears.

ELF

Thank you! Ever since the workshop branched out into adult toys, this has been my dream.

He takes a bow.

FADE OUT

The Lie that Tells

2009-10-07T09:31:00.003-06:00

Art is a lie but a lie that tells the truth.
- Pablo Picasso

In real life, how often do we address the truth directly? Do we discuss what personal history makes us act as we do? Do we bare our feelings? Do we admit our wrongdoings? How often do we even stop to examine these things? And does not examining them usually require a stop from the movement and action of our lives?

OK, yes - as artists, most of us probably engage in far more examination of truth, history, and motive than the average person. But most people (I have come to realize from the blank stares I sometimes get in attempting to start conversations on such matters) rarely think, much less speak, about such things.

In fact, I've dated men who act like the question, "Why?" was not even in their vocabulary, and who genuinely had never in their lives thought to question their motivations.

This is vitally important to understand when you are writing a screenplay. We must know the truth behind our story, the history of our characters, their feelings and wrongdoings... but they must rarely, if ever, speak of these things directly. Instead, they inform the choices and actions our characters take.

To discuss these truths too openly will make your story ring false.

I was reminded of this during last week's episode of NCIS. The team had a man in interrogation. At first, he lied, to avoid the consequences of his actions. His ranged from tone was matter-of-fact and casual to offended and outraged. Then, after further questioning - his tone changed and became more urgent. One of the observing characters noted that he was probably telling the truth because he was not pausing before answering, his answers were not overly elaborated.

This made me think: to communicate a believable truth in my writing, I need the character to have a sense of urgency, to act without hesitation, and to show things simply without excessive elaboration. (Think action movie)

And, to the opposite effect, if I want to communicate avoidance of truth (which is sometimes the whole point of a story) I should slow down the pace, add hesitation, and elaborate at length - particularly over irrelevant details. (Think drawing room drama)

In either case, however, the characters show or avoid the truth through their behavior and the tone of the dialogue - not through specifically speaking about it. Speaking about truth quickly becomes either pedantic and preachy or like watching a video of someone's therapy session.

There is an excellent post here examining some specific cases.

I will add, finally, that there can be times in a screenplay to reverse the rule and have a character directly speak a truth that's been only implied up to that point.

One use is comedy. Highlighting an aspect of a relationship or action that the characters involved have been avoiding. "Get a room already, you two." Best done by a tertiary or minor character (so as not to disrupt the primary relationships). A good example was also this last episode of NCIS, when a someone referred to one of the characters as a sidekick. This then played out through the rest of the episode in small comedic actions as this character attempted to step out of that role...but was not addressed directly again. Some screenplays even have a "fool" character whose role is primarily to say that thing that everyone is thinking but won't address.

Another use is the turning point, especially the mid-point. When the character is at their wit's end, and cannot figure out what else to do, they might have a moment of reflection in which they examine, find, and possibly even articulate their real motivations. The "a-ha" moment that gets them moving again and gives them the strength to face the rest of the challenges the story will throw at them. Just... keep it brief. Like the soldier being interrogated, they should speak the truth simply and with urgency.

Not to say there is no place in art for lengthy internal examination. Novels are an excellent medium for this. Film, however, is an external art. Moving pictures are most engaging when they are, well, moving.

Lemons: A Love Story

2009-09-30T17:02:00.001-06:00

FADE IN

EXT. CORNER OF HILLTOP AND GROVE - DAY

Hilltop and Grove, the intersection of two streets that cut through open fields of tall grass and wild sunflowers. On one side perches a small bench, protected from the sun by a shingled hutch. A small metal sign marks it as a bus stop.

Across the street is a smug ranch home with a neat green lawn, tight beds of primroses and pansies, and a lemon tree bearing small yellow-green fruit. An short, open lattice fence defines the little patch of civilization.

Across one of the fields, a boy and a girl come running. MELISSA, in denim cutoffs and a red gingham shirt, is in the lead. TOM, in baggy overalls, closes the gap as they reach the bus stop. The pair are about ten years old.

MELISSA

I dare you to go pick lemons off that tree.

She twirls one of her short braids, adorned with gingham ribbons, in awkward imitation of a flirtatious older girl.

TOM

They aren't hardly even ripe, Mel.

MELISSA

Tommy Morgan, I think you're afraid of old Grumps.

TOM

Yeah, well, you think right.

MELISSA

He's just one old man.

She saunters into the road, heading for the yard.

TOM

Mel, don't. Are you crazy?

MELISSA

I was gonna make you lemonade, but now I will jus hafta keep it all for myself.

He runs toward her, but she's already scrambled over the fence. He stops at the barrier.

Melissa jumps up and grabs a lemon off the tree.

From the shadowed front stoop emerges the barrel of a shotgun followed closely by old MR. SIMMONS.

MR. SIMMONS

I told you damn kids, stay offa my property.

Tom freezes. The blood runs out of his face.

Melissa passes him, waving the purloined lemon in his face. One of her hair ribbons falls to the ground.

MR. SIMMONS

Thieves!

He fires the shotgun into the air.

Tom snaps back to himself. Starts to run, but turns back and reaches through the lattice to pick up the lost ribbon, then runs past the bus stop, back across the fields.

EXT. CORNER OF HILLTOP AND GROVE - DAY

Same corner, but a few of the fields have been replaced with homes. Long ranch-style homes mostly, with expansive lawns.

The bus stop shed is weathered and grey.

Tom, now 17, sits on the bench reading a book. His clothes still look too big on his skinny frame.

Melissa walks up, her hair cut like Farrah Fawcett. A TEENAGE BOY hangs out the door of an orange Pinto that rolls past.

TEENAGE BOY

Who woulda thought Mel would grow up into Mel-iss-a.

MELISSA

Oh, shush.

She flips her hair, flirtatiously. The car revs its engine and zooms away.

TOM

Hello, Melissa.

MELISSA

Oh, hi Tom.

She barely looks his way, watching the Pinto as it does doughnuts in an empty lot.

A bee lands in her hair.

TOM

Um, Melissa.

She waves him off, without turning to look at him.

He pulls a red gingham ribbon from the back of the book, and marks his place.

TOM

Mel, there's a...

He stands, and reaches up to wave the bee away, but before he can, she runs a hand through her hair.

Her eyes get very wide.

MELISSA

Oooh, CRAP. Oh shit.

TOM

I'm sorry, I tried to... there was a bee.

She waves her hand, and the sting swells up.

TOM

I know something that can help.

He looks across to the lemon tree in Mr. Simmon's yard, now just visible over a tall whitewashed fence.

He gets a running start, and manages to get over it, leaving black scuffs on the paint.

A dog barks when he lands on the other side. The tree rustles.

Tom's head pops over the fence. He loses his grip and falls.

The dog growls, and there are sounds of a scuffle.

Tom scrambles back across, his pant leg now torn at the hem.

MELISSA

Tom, are you OK?

She blows on her bee sting, and winces.

He holds up a lemon.

TOM

These can help relieve a bee sting.

He pulls out a Swiss army knife, and cuts the lemon.

Gently lifting her hand, he rubs the juice onto the sting.

MELISSA

When did you get so brave, Tom Morgan?

Melissa beams at him.

EXT. CORNER OF HILLTOP AND GROVE - DAY

The wood hutch at the bus stop has been replaced by a concrete shelter. The fields are now entirely replaced by houses, small and close. The paint on Mr. Simmon's fence is worn.

Tom, 24, carries a briefcase as he waits on the bus. His clothes not only finally fit, but are a little tight across his muscular arms and thighs.

A car pulls up, a LITTLE GIRL in the passenger side.

Melissa gets out of the car, and smacks the roof. Her Farrah hair has been replaced with a poodle perm and bandanna.

MELISSA

Is that you, Tom Morgan?

Tom cocks his head, and takes her in.

TOM

Melissa? Well, it's been...I haven't seen you went to college.

MELISSA

Yeah. Just visiting the folks. Had no idea you were back here.

TOM

Never left.

Melissa takes him in a long moment, then nods to the child.

MELISSA

Came to show my daughter my favorite lemon tree.

The little girl is climbing through the car window.

TOM

Oh? Well, hello. What's your name?

LITTLE GIRL

Jessica. I'm this many.

She holds 6 fingers in front of her face.

TOM

Wow, you're 6.

He looks at Melissa, and back at the little girl.

A car screeches around the corner.

Tom grabs Jessica and pulls her from the car as it crumples from the impact. Melissa is knocked back and out of sight.

The girl's scream pierces the air.

EXT. CORNER OF HILLTOP AND GROVE - DAY

Trees are grown tall, and the bus stop has been spray-painted by gangs. The bench is missing a plank.

Beside the concrete shelter a cross is in the ground, tied with a worn gingham ribbon.

A middle-aged Tom, bends down, takes off the old ribbon, and replaces it with a fresh one. He steps back a few paces, wipes sweat from his brow, and looks up at the sun.

A car pulls up. It idles a moment, then stops. A YOUNG WOMAN steps out, wearing a dark suit.

She goes to the cross, and sets a candle at the base.

Tom watches her light it.

TOM

Jessica?

She turns slowly, and nods.

YOUNG WOMAN/JESSICA

Tom Morgan?

Tom nods yes.

JESSICA

You were there.

TOM

Yes, I was.

JESSICA

I was going through old papers, and. Mom never told me, but I think you may be... might be my...

Tom nods.

TOM

Tell you what. Why don't you come inside for some lemonade, and we can talk.

He gestures across the street, where a new mailbox is labelled "MORGAN". They cross, he opens the gate, and they disappear into the yard.

FADE OUT

Done!

2009-09-27T22:11:00.002-06:00

Well, I did it.
Stuck with the micro-epic screenplay idea.

Very interested in the feedback on this one. I enjoyed writing it, but is it any good?

Will post it as soon as I get confirmation from the contest organizers that it's good to go.

An Epic in 5 Pages (or less)??

2009-09-27T00:33:00.002-06:00

I must be crazy, but I am actually attempting to write a story that spans 35 years and two generations in my short screenplay challenge.

AND (the crazy part is) I think it will work.

Surfacing - Second Life, Role Playing Games, a new (old) challenge

2009-09-26T00:46:00.005-06:00

Sometimes I just need to shut off for a while. Sometimes that while is several months. So I've been engaging in hours of mindless and sometimes downright filthy activity through various avatars in Second Life.

What I learned there is that even the most detailed carefully constructed characters (some of my avatars ROCK), set in the most fascinating and detailed environments (some the the SIMs are very well imagined and meticulously designed) are still boring if nothing happens to them.

You can go out and try to make things happen, but initiating action only goes so far if the responses are uninventive or poorly executed. Really, very few people can get the hang of role playing when the animation isn't doing all the work.

So, I return now to writing one month before my 40th birthday (when the fuck did I get that old??) and just in time for the NYC Midnight screenwriting challenge.

I got open genre for my first assignment, with a bus stop for the setting, and "a lemon" for the object. Ya know, I've sat at many bus stops, in multiple countries over the years, because I didn't learn to drive until I was 32. Yet there is one particular stop that comes to mind above all with three or four others close behind.

Well, I have an idea... off to create enough conflict to make my 5 pages or less sing!

Categorical

2009-05-28T23:42:00.002-06:00

I love the refinements that Netflix has made to their suggestion system. If you haven't gone through the entire questionnaire, I recommend you do. It made me think about my interests in ways I had not. For instance, I'm interested in movies with a father-daughter theme, but not a father-son theme. Logical, I suppose, but not something I'd been conscious of.

The Sub-sub-categories it now comes up with for recommendations are also illuminating, and have me thinking about my taste in terms of my writing as well:
Visually-striking Suspenseful Psychological Movies
Dark Dramas with a Strong Female Lead
Critically-acclaimed Cerebral Movies from the 1930s
Scary Foreign Thrillers

It's been interesting seeing what comes up, but also seeing adjectives like "dark" or "gritty" or "scary" applied to categories I hadn't thought of attaching it to. Scary thrillers as opposed to horror, for example. I do love scary thrillers, perhaps better than horror. I also like horror films that have a thriller element, the anticipation and the chase. I don't care for the cheesy gore-fest that the genre seems to have been pigeon-holed in.

It's got me turning the kaleidoscope on some of my writing a little bit, twisting the colors and playing with how it looks.

ridiculous

2009-05-23T16:25:00.002-06:00

I'm gonna create a line of salad dressings, and tie each to a screenplay so that when the dressings are optioned by Hollywood, I'll be ready.

Re- re- re- re

2009-05-19T02:36:00.003-06:00

I just wanna say:
A redux is a remake.
So is a reboot.
There is no difference.
If they had to get the rights to the previous film, if the story and characters are basically the same, it's a remake. The other terms are just marketing. Don't be fooled into thinking they are any different. Some may be more well done than others, but they are all remakes. Just like Midol is the same exact drug as Advil is the exact same drug as generic Ibuprophen - a reboot is a redux is a remake.

A Rebound, on the other hand, well, that's a different thing altogether.

Amazon's response

2009-04-14T13:30:00.001-06:00

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Amazon.com.

This is an embarrassing and ham-fisted cataloging error for a company that prides itself on offering complete selection.

It has been misreported that the issue was limited to Gay & Lesbian themed titles - in fact, it impacted 57,310 books in a number of broad categories such as Health, Mind & Body, Reproductive & Sexual Medicine, and Erotica. This problem impacted books not just in the United States but globally. It affected not just sales rank but also had the effect of removing the books from Amazon's main product search.

Many books have now been fixed and we're in the process of fixing the remainder as quickly as possible, and we intend to implement new measures to make this kind of accident less likely to occur in the future.

Thanks for contacting us. We hope to see you again soon.

Sincerely,

Customer Service Department
Amazon.com

Dear Amazon

2009-04-12T11:15:00.002-06:00

I have had several authors tell me in the past that they would prefer I not order their books through Amazon, as they make a smaller residual through them than any other portal. But I've continued to do so for the most part, as a matter of convenience.

Now, however, I find out that Amazon has removed the sales ranking for several Gay and Lesbian themed books.

They use the excuse that they want to preclude Adult material from showing up in searches - but may of the works concerned do not have any graphic sexual content. From Young Adult novels like "The Filly" to classics like Erastes' Transgressions and modern works of literature like Oranges are Not the Only Fruit and the Well of Loneliness.

However, you can still find books with explicit heterosexual content, including photographs.

So I wrote t hem and informed them that I would not only be removing all my wish list content, and no longer doing business with them, I would not link to them when recommending books and I would not do business with their other websites.

Blatant prejudice is especially offensive coming from a purveyor of books.

Getting Frenzied

2009-04-01T13:05:00.003-06:00

I'll be participating in Script Frenzy this year. I've filled in the points on the Blake Snyder beat sheet, and will be attempting to write an entire screenplay in the month of April.

Actually, my goal is even more ambitious. I plan to finish it in 20 days (6 pages a day is not unreasonable for me), and have time to polish it a little by the end of the month.

Working title: Spaz

A teenage girl hides her epilepsy to convince a former CIA agent to be her mentor, and ends up in over her head with the local Mexican mafia.

I've got the beats laid out. Now, time to write!

Write Badly

2009-03-11T19:39:00.003-06:00

Billy Mernitt, you have just knocked my favorite crutch away. My best excuse for procrastination. The reason I end up spinning in circles and efficiently avoiding forward progress on my screenplays (or any writing, really.) I don't have to get it "perfect."

According to Mr. Mernitt, who has every reason to know, it's not only OK to break the "rules" of screenwriting, sometimes it helps you achieve the one goal that is paramount for any screenwriter: make them empathize with the protagonist. Get them to feel. If it takes parentheticals, unfilmable asides about the character's internal thoughts and intentions, or lots of ellipses, then so be it.

Thinking about it, I am reminded of something I learned when studying poetry in college. It struck me while reading Sonnet: On the Sonnet by Keats. The Sonnet is a very structured form. Not the most difficult, but still fairly rigorous. (I laugh when people complain about screenplay form being too limiting.) In this sonnet, Keats breaks the rhythm in one line - and does so with the explicit intention of making the reader pause, of drawing attention to the one line.

I learned two things from that poem: 1) Let structure serve a meaningful function. The actual rhythm contributes to and/or echoes the content. 2) Drama and meaning can be derived from breaking the form - but there has to be a form there to break for that to work.

So I think my feeling about using such things as internal unfilmables, is that they should be used consciously. They should be placed in essential spots, to break the form a little, change the pace, make the reader stop and think. But to achieve that effect, the rest of the writing has to be fairly clean and straightforward.

I know the examples on Mr. Mernitt's blog include a script that seems to go beyond the selective use idea... but I also found it a difficult passage to read. Maybe it reads differently in context.

Have I come full circle? Have I just proposed something even more difficult than perfection - perfection with intentional flaws? Shhh. I don't care. I need to go write.

Reminder to Self: How to Sell a Script

2009-03-04T14:12:00.002-06:00

You pass it on to your connections. A screenwriter without connections very rarely makes a sale. Hollywood is the most incestuous industry aside from the mafia. Even porn is more open to outsiders.

So how do you get connections? I hate that phrase: "get connections." Connections are made and maintained, they are something dynamic and living - not a purchasable product.

You start by talking to people, getting to know others who are interested in the business - sites like Triggerstreet help for those of us not in Hollywood. Read blogs by those devoted to the craft and participate in the dialogue in the comments.

If there are local film/screenwriting groups or organizations like a local Screenwriters Association or Women in Film, participate. (There are both in Dallas. I need to join them.) Go to film festivals. And talk to people (a tough one for many writers), get their contact info, follow up a couple of weeks later to say it was good to meet them, and only hit them up after that when you have something relevant to them, such as updating them on what you are doing (provided you are actually doing something worth updating them on).

Otherwise: look up the production companies for films you like that are similar to what you write. (use the Hollywood Creative Directory) Mail them (e-mail or snail mail) query letters asking if they would be interested in reading your script.

Look up the screenwriters for those films, and find out who represents them, and get the contact info for those agents or agencies at least - and contact them

Don't expect to sell your script, so much as to offer it as a writing sample. You should have 3-4 solid scripts (as in ready to produce,) and if told that one is not what they are looking for, you can offer the others. This also shows you're not a one-shotter, and may have the stuff to be a professional writer - so you might get considered for assignments. Most produced screenplays are assignments (and adaptations at that) rather than specs.

Dreaming Myself Awake

2009-02-20T12:52:00.004-06:00

I've posted some links on Twitter recently, to kabbalah.info, and wanted to delve into my perspective a bit here. I've read a little on the subject, and while I don't consider myself a kabbalist, I have been told by those who do (consider themselves) that my ideas are quite similar to theirs. I also draw from Christain mystics, Sufis, Zen, Tibetan Buddhism, Jesuits, Hindus, Athiests and more - so it would never be accurate to ascribe my understanding of the world and approach to life to any particular religion or philosphy.

I believe we are each created toward a specific purpose, designed for a specific role in the story of the Universe. That story is larger than any of us, yet each of us is essential to it.

We play that role, wittingly or not, according to our natures, our true or essential Will. We can better understand our Will, and better fulfill our role simply by following the internal compass of joy. What it is that makes us joyful, that satisfies us on a deep level, that makes us feel right and at peace and happy - that is our Will, or at least a part of it.

I find this sense of joyful purpose giving massage, especially when I am relieving pain. I find it in my writing, when an idea comes and I dive into it and let it flow through me, transmuting it to words in my own voice. The sensation is similar to lucid dreaming, taking control of an unconscious process and turning it in another direction.

I also find it at moments in other activities: noticing a beautiful contrast of a rusted yellow warehouse against a blue sky, watching my dog play, catching a glance between two people in love. The part of my purpose found in these moments is learning to appreciate the world.

We can also seek to understand how or own role fits with the larger dream of the Universe. This begins with the recognition of two things: 1) Each and every person has a role to play, and in this, we are all equal 2) the Universe is in constant communication with us, but we can only narrowly perceive the messages it conveys.

In addition to our bliss as a guide, everything around us is imbued with meaning - the arrangement of letters and numbers, the pattern in the branches of a tree, the "chance" crossing of our path with another person. Through introspection, study, openness and perception we can catch glimpses of this meaning, and as we do so, while continuing to follow our Will using our sense of joy as a guide, then we can progress spiritually.

A sense of the connection we have to the larger story is essential for the human race to survive. We can see from the echoes and repercussions occurring through the economies of the world right now. Our personal integrity is important, but it is also important to do our best to strengthen others - because if they fall, we will stumble. it is important, too, to remember that we cannot carry them, or try to direct them on the road to our own goals - because each person and each nation must discover their own Will, and learn to embody it. (I'm an advocate of micro-loans rather than charity or larger government loans.)

The most powerful thing we can do is to set an example by living our Will, and sharing our joy. In so doing, we inevitably inspire others to do the same.

Destiny and other problems

2009-02-17T00:26:00.004-06:00

Slumdog Millionaire. Definitely one of the best films of last year. Not on my top ten list for the decade, but an enjoyable film that really struck a chord with audiences.

There has been a lot of debate over the film, including some points I think are worth taking a moment to address.

1) It's emotionally manipulative.
Well, uh, yeah. It's a movie. Seriously, though, this is I think one of the oddest complaints and its one I've seen directed toward other popular movies, like E.T. I've never been sure whether the problem is that it's transparent about the emotions it's working to evoke, that it does so clumsily or incompletely, that it becomes melodramatic, or that it does so too well. Nearly all films, including documentaries... in fact, nearly all art, is emotionally manipulative. Whether it's simply trying to share a sense of the wonder of a panorama, or to get us to share the soaring hopes and failures of a character, that is part of what movies do. Do you really think There Will Be Blood was not manipulative?

2) It's culturally biased.
Well, the Indian co-director did her best to help temper cultural insensitivities, and my impression is that she did an excellent job. A little of this is unavoidable any time you have a film being made about a country and culture that the director is not native to. I think it's far less culturally insensitive than, say, Last of the Mohicans is about Native Americans, or The Hunt for Red October is about Russians. Even a native Indian director would have their own bias: muslim/hindu, Mumbai native or from another city, etc.

3) It glamorizes poverty/It makes the poor look bad/It makes Mumbai look like a crime-ridden slum/It only shows one side of India
I did not find that it made poverty look appealing. I can't imagine any kid watching Slumdog and thinking it would be cool to be poor like that. Nor does it portray all the poor folks in the same light (all good or all bad.) I don't know how anyone could see the harshness of burning out a child's eye so they will make more money begging as "glamorizing," unless they were just looking at the pretty colors and the lovely cinematography. And in the two brothers it shows the choices that most poor face: embrace a life of crime and try to profit at great risk, OR work hard and be honest and hope that destiny will deliver you to a better life.
As for only showing one side of India or portraying Mumbai as a slum: The only slum larger than the one portrayed in Slumdog is in Nairobi. Dharavi is home to millions, and it is most definitely a slum (though one that is beginning to be redeveloped.) And since when has it been the responsibility of any movie to accurately portray an entire nation. It's not the job of a movie to give an accurate and balanced view of India, and this kind of criticism only points out how much further world cinema has to go.

4) Destiny? That's weak.
A lot of people were frustrated by the plot revolved which around a character who felt he was destined to achieve what he achieves. There are three things they miss.

First: Destiny holds a much more important place in the thinking of a culture where most marriages are still arranged and where poverty is a much less permeable barrier than in the US. The film's character believes in destiny.
Second: Most Hollywood Romance movies, and many other films, rely to a large extent on destiny. They found each other because they were meant to be together. It's a fairly common device.
Third: Destiny... or the sum of a life's choices? How can you tell the difference? is there one? I am sitting here now writing this blog, and I can go back and point to various instances in my life that led me to be exactly where I am and who I am now, that led up to this precise point. They were things that happened to me, and how I responded to them. To say that a character is Destined is only to say that what must occur does occur, or what does occur must. Destiny is no mystery. Destiny does not negate choices, it simply uses our choices to manifest itself.

5) The acting was weak.
OK. I concede this one. At least as far as the leads were concerned. I think that Dev Patel was flat, and am glad that he was only in a fraction of the film. The younger actors were full of spark and life and were completely wonderful. Frieda Pinto's performance completely lacked nuance - but that does not matter for reasons I'll get to shortly. The other actors, however, were great, including the older Salim. So I don't think Dev Patel should win any awards for his performance, but he did manage not to muck up the movie as a whole.

6) Latika was a golddigger, or Latika was way underdeveloped
There were subtleties in the character that a better actress could have brought to light. She sacrificed her virginity to save Jamal's life, but part of her wanted him to somehow stop Salim. Instead, Jamal ran away, and left her to become a trophy to the local mafioso. So yeah, when he showed up again it took her a little while to warm up to him. And she knew that if she ran away, the bad guys would come after her - so it would take some money to get someplace safe. Asking about money was practical, but it was also defensive - fear of being judged, criticism of Jamal who had abandoned her for so long... but ultimately, Latika's character and her feelings are unimportant for one simple reason.
I'm surprised that no one seems to have seen her this way, but Latika is not so much a character, as she is the MacGuffin.
Latika is what motivates much of the key action in the film, not just because she is what Jamal wants above all else, but because that desire directs many of Salim's actions, and desire to possess Latika motivates the beggar-king, and the mafioso.
Latika is the MacGuffin. It doesn't matter one bit if she loves Jamal. It's the journey toward her, toward the object of desire, that gives an order and a meaning to the otherwise apparently random string of events that make up Jamal's life.

technical problems

2009-02-15T19:30:00.002-06:00

OK, one of the barriers in recent months to more frequent blogging has been that I switched to Safari as my browser of choice. Safari is wonderful for reading text online, as the fonts are crisper, clearer, and darker than on any other browser. The problem is, Safari runs into incompatibility problems with some website features - mostly music players. Sometimes they just don't show up.

I don't mind opening Firefox for listening to music. I don't listen often anyway. or the occasional images that just don't want to display in Safari. What I do find frustrating is that Safari, at least on this machine, locks up whenever I try to type a post in blogger. What's up with that? Blogging, reading AND WRITING, is the whole reason I choose Safari. I've tried looking for answers or suggestions, but I don't find any evidence that there are a lot of people experiencing problems using Blogger on Safari (for Windows.)

Not much of an excuse, but I keep starting posts and forgetting until I'm three or four lines in and it locks up...

Los Angeles - grime and traffic

2009-02-10T00:15:00.004-06:00

In response to a post on John August's blog where he discusses the following quote:

Can you figure out which of the following is accurate?

Los Angeles’s air is choked with smog.

Los Angeles has developed in a low-density, sprawling pattern.

Angelenos spend more time stuck in traffic than any other drivers in the nation.

Thanks to the great distances between far-flung destinations, and perhaps to Angelenos’ famed “love affair” with the car, Angelenos drive considerably more miles than most Americans.

Los Angeles is dominated by an overbuilt freeway system that promotes autodependence.

Los Angeles’s mass transit system is underdeveloped and inadequate.

As someone who grew up in LA in the 80s (Palos Verdes), and lived back there a few years ago (Koreatown), and who has also lived in several cities around the US plus in Europe - this is my take.

The orange haze from the 80s is gone. BUT my apartment in Koreatown was constantly covered with a layer of soot-like black grime. So there is still a LOT of crud in the air, it’s just not orange anymore.

Definitely sprawling, but only moderately low-density… and this is improving over time. Neighborhoods are getting more defined (in a good way) and downtown and adjacent areas becoming more self-sufficient. Compared to DFW, where I live now, it’s definitely got more going for it in terms of density, which I consider a good thing. A 30-40 mile work commute is not uncommon here, and the suburban areas are generally really generic, as they haven’t developed much neighborhood flavor.

More time stuck in traffic? I dunno. Depends on where you’re traveling and when. Most learn to adjust their schedules to avoid peak traffic times, and many employers offer work scheduling that takes that into account (like allowing people to come in at 7am or at 10am for an 8-hr shift) but when I was living in K-town and working in Pasadena, that short drive could take a very long time in the evening rush.

Angelenos love their cars. This is true. I see more classic and more souped up cars driving around LA than any other city I’ve lived in. But more miles altogether? Nah. I’m sure it takes more driving to get around DFW than it did in LA. I mostly stayed within a handful of neighborhoods, walked (gasp!really!) a lot, and found lots to entertain me. Well, when I was in K-town that is. Great location close to everything. Growing up in PV, well, getting anywhere meant driving over the hill. I actually took the bus from Rancho Palos Verdes to USC for a full semester before my parents relented and helped me get into a dorm room. Oi. So, I guess it depends on where you draw your circle and call it “LA” - how far you get into the suburbs. I’m sure people who live in the Valley drive a lot. Those in Hollywood, not so much.

Wouldn’t call the freeway system overbuilt. Seems about right for the area, and not so much more than many other metro areas.

Now as for the mass transit. Hm. It exists. With care and planning you can kinda get around. But it’s really pathetically inadequate. In Prague, I could leave a theater after midnight in one outlying area, and get a tram or subway back to an outlying area on the far side of the metroplex. I might have to wait 20 minutes, or even 30 on a Sunday. Getting around the heart of the city was effortless. Small towns like Boulder and Santa Cruz have great bus systems. Of the places I’ve lived, LA is only better than one: DFW. DFW has the most inadequate sorry-assed attempt at public transportation as any place I’ve lived. In LA, I could walk or ride a bike most places. In Dallas there are huge areas where it’s hard to get across the freeways if you’re not driving. It’s like coming across a rushing river in the middle of the urban jungle. You sometimes have to traverse the banks for miles to find a bridge.

I love LA. I like it a lot better than Dallas. My only real problems with LA are the following:

* The pollution. Seriously, maybe it's not so bad if you're further from downtown, but my apartment would get *filthy* with grime. My car windows were too grimy to see out of if I didn't wash them every week. (In Dallas, I can go 3 or 4 weeks. Unless it's pollen season or we've had dirt thrown on the roads for ice.)

* The poor public transportation.

* and, more than any other by far - The cost of living as compared to the wages. It's 3x more expensive than here, but wages are about the same or even slightly lower. This means most folks work 2 or three jobs, housing is not affordable, and stress levels are generally much higher than anyone wants to admit because it would ruin the laid-back sunny zen-smoking image Angelenos like to keep up.

Scattershot

2009-01-28T13:22:00.002-06:00

I love the way bare trees look when their branches are encased with a layer of ice, especially when the sun hits them and the melting ice refracts the light in little rainbow sparkles. The fact that it's dangerous just enhances the beauty.

Took me over 2 hours to drive to work on the icy roads. (My usual commute is 45 minutes.) I didn't mind, as driving on ice is fun - as long as you remain focused. It's the other drivers who are a potential problem.

Orange-glazed scallops with ginger and scallions... I've been trying to think of a good orange-glazed scallop recipe that didn't need to be spicy but would still have enough contrast with the sweetness of the citrus. (My sister can't tolerate hot spices. She gets blisters.) That would work.

Do I keep writing pages for the Co-write contest, or do I work on developing my own first ten pages that I created with that contest in mind? Or both, if I can manage it. The two stories may evolve from the same logline, but the opening they chose will take that script in very different directions than mine is going.

Here's my answer to the stupid High-Fructose Corn Syrup ads:
HCFS suppress the chemicals that tell us we're full, leading to gorging
and
Products made with HCFS likely to contain Mercury
and the FDA knew about it, and did nothing

Obama needs to invest in trains.
Trains can reduce vehicle emissions, reduce traffic, reduce the stress on roadways, increase the ability of workers to travel for work, develop new technologies, and employ large numbers of people.
Bush severely cut funding for the commuter train system, but increasing it could help address a number of problems.
Seriously - we really should have more trains.

Catalysts

2009-01-26T11:05:00.006-06:00

This is a sidebar to the Character Arc debate in Mystery Man's blog. Just some scattered thoughts I wanted to jot down before bed.

In some films, the central character does not serve to propel the story forward in a direct manner. Nor do they change. Yet they still are at the center of a dynamic story, and they are part of a mythical tradition in storytelling as valid as the Hero's Journey.

These catalytic characters fall into three main archetypes: The Fool, The Trickster, and The Messiah

Now, it is more common to find them as the antagonist (especially the Trickster, The Joker being an excellent example) - but they are sometimes used as the protagonist. And there are some cases of these characters being written with an arc, though that is not really in their nature. The story with these characters is the change they create in others.

The most obvious fool is Forrest Gump, however, not the most catalytic.

Butch and Sundance are Fools. The archetype has nothing to do with being stupid, but is of one who travels through the world on a journey, blissfully unaware of the changes/chaos they create in their passage. For Butch and Sundance, it catches up with them.

Indiana Jones is part Fool, part Trickster - and is very much the same man with the same desires and drives at the end of the first film as he was at the beginning - but he definitely triggers events, simply by being present.

Ferris Bueller: rarely has there been a better example of a Trickster catalyst in film. Absolutely drives the film, does not change, and inspires change in his friend.

Ghandi is a classic Messiah archetype. He inspires others to great change, while remaining very much the same himself. (The movie Ghandi, not to be confused with the real man, who very much changed over the course of his life.)

Captain Jack is a trickster and clearly a catalyst. Whose desires and actions drive central storyline of the Pirates trilogy? (OK, there are arguments for both Will and Elizabeth, but it's Jack's presence that gets things moving, and Jack who spurs them on.)

Another great trickster is Redford's character in The Sting, who does not himself change and yet is the catalyst for the rest of the characters to come together and to revive their old interests, and even to stretch their abilities.

Chance the Gardener in Being There is a combination Fool/Messiah, and one of the best examples of a catalytic character in film. He is clearly the protagonist, but he does not change, and is, in fact, incapable of changing. However, he triggers great change in the people who encounter him.

Powder: messiah... pretty blatantly so.

The Prestige, trickster (but is Bale the Protag? or the Antag?)

Axel in Beverly Hills Cop - Trickster

from TV: The Doctor (as in Who), Trickster

Bruce Willis in the 6th Sense was a Catalyst, but does he fit one of the above types?

Same for Poitier in To Sir with Love - arguably a Messiah, though teacher/mentor may be another archetype.

The lead in Seven Samurai... been a while, but as I remember, he starts off pretty much the same person he is throughout, but inspires other shogun to come together and protect the village.

Cool Hand Luke, again - it's been a long time. Other than accepting his fate (sacrifice), does Luke change?

McMurphy in Cuckoo's Nest?

Ethan, especially in MI 2, is portrayed as a Messianic figure.

hmmm... forgetting something that I started off wanting to talk about....
OK, need to go off to bed. Up much too late.

twitter

2009-01-18T16:36:00.002-06:00

I am now on twitter. We'll see how much I use it.

I have re-committed to my writing. Expect to see more posts, and to see me participating at Triggerstreet.

I have a tendency to try to accomplish too much, then get nothing done. I end up avoiding all of them and playing Warhammer for hours.

I have come to the conclusion that I really need to focus on one thing at a time. Once writing is a habit again, I can add on other goals.

I can do just about anything I set my mind to. I just can't do everything. At least not at the same time.

Update: Screenwriting Challenge

2008-12-23T22:33:00.016-06:00

In the last challenge, I placed third in my group. That gives me a total of 45 out of a possible 50 points so far.
Top ten in each group moved on to the next round.

My screenplay for this round is posted below.

genre: Historical Fiction
location: Fallout Shelter
object: cactus

I struggled hard to come up with an actual story. I had an immediate impression of an innocent, a young woman standing barfoot in the midst of cacti - as so many young people in the 60s stood innocent in the midst of the dangers of the time.

I imagined her making out in the backyard bomb shelter, a protest of the culture of life against the culture of death, and then hearing about one of the events of the era on the radio - Cuban Missile Crisis, Kennedy Assassination, Che's killing... but that still wasn't a story, more like a snippet.

But, after reading about events of the 60s, I finally came up with something, an historic meeting of sorts. I re-located it from a beach into the shelter. It's a direction I didn't expect to go, but once I thought of it, it really hooked me.

It's the meeting of Charlie Manson and Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme.

Several hours of research went into getting this initial exchange right, so I hope it works

She just seemed to really fit that opening image, the initial impression I had, of an innocent among the thorns.

Barefoot In a Cactus Garden

2008-12-23T22:20:00.001-06:00

EXT. SUBURBAN BACKYARD - DAY

A cactus garden - several shapes and kinds, cluster around a concrete platform. In the middle of them rises a mushroom-shaped aluminum vent, the blades on top spinning.

LYN (18), her red hair in braids, walks by. The edge of her Indian-print skirt catches on a large prickly pear. She bends to disentangle the fabric from the cactus.

Charlie (33), looks around the yard, and scratches his stubbly beard.

CHARLIE

Where is your pad, chickie?

LYN

Right here.

She frees her skirt, steps away from the cactus and onto the concrete, and points down.

INT. FALLOUT SHELTER - DAY

Lyn maneuvers around a small couch at the center of the cramped space.

Shelves are stocked with dusty cans. An AM/FM radio in the corner. An ashtray filled with butts, and some empty cans litter the floor.

Charlie makes his way down the ladder.

Lyn sits, uncomfortable, on the edge of the couch. Charlie sits beside her, she nervously jumps up - then sits again.

Charlie cracks a smile, an elfin grin of both sympathy and amusement.

CHARLIE

Tell me - what troubles you?

LYN

How - How did you know?

CHARLIE

Up in the Haight, I'm called the gardener.

He reaches into a shirt pocket and pulls out a joint, then sticks it behind an ear.

CHARLIE

I tend to all the flower children.

Lyn stands up now and faces him, but stays close.

LYN

Charlie. It's Charlie, right? I'm no delicate flower. And I don't need any gardener planting his seeds.

Charlie looks at her.

CHARLIE

Lynette. Lyn. Even a cactus -

He grasps the edge of her skirt, where it had caught the cactus above, and finds a needle there.

CHARLIE

-blooms once in a while. Flowers come in infinite variety. Some of them with thorns.

He pulls her arm out in front of her, opens her hand, and drops the cactus needle in her palm.

CHARLIE

That makes it special when you can get close to them.

Lyn melts, and flops back onto the couch. She leans slightly toward him, then pulls back again.

LYN

I guess I dig what you're saying.

CHARLIE

So, we're copascetic.

He pulls out the joint, and pats his pockets for a light. He stands, and starts looking through the stocks.

LYN

Over there. Matches are by the radio.

He lights the joint, then squats in front of her, and passes it to her. He waits for her to take a hit.

CHARLIE

When did your old man kick you out?

LYN

Wh- uh - he. How did you know?

He just grins.

She laughs.

LYN

Any little thing and he'd go ape, man. So, you know, I figured it was time to split.

She starts to tear up.

CHARLIE

Look, I've spent most of my life behind bars. Stupid shit mostly. Petty crimes.

LYN

Oh, that's golden. I've invited a criminal down here to get high. That's supposed to make me feel better?

CHARLIE

I'm tryin to tell you, man, for a lot of years I was seriously down on myself.

He holds her chin in his hand. Curiosity overwhelms her fear.

CHARLIE

Do you miss your daddy?

Lyn shakes her head no.

He holds her gaze a while longer.

She shakes her head yes.

CHARLIE

You wanted daddy to hit you.

She pulls away. Pushing Charlie from her, but with no real insistence.

LYN

Fuck you, Charlie.

CHARLIE

All little girls want their daddy's attention.

Lyn freezes. He gently pulls her into his arms, and strokes her hair.

CHARLIE

Prison was like that for me. I hated it, but I wanted it.

LYN

Do you still?

CHARLIE

No, man. I learned that the way out of a room was not through the door.

He taps his head.

CHARLIE

It's up here. Just don't want out, and you're free.

They both laugh.

CHARLIE

We've got a bus. Painted black, full of cushions and groovy people.

LYN

Yeah? OK.

CHARLIE

We're going up north again. Into the woods. Maybe back to the Haight. Come with us.

LYN

I can't.

He pushes her away from him.

She tries to lean on him again, but he pushes her up.

He stands up, and goes to the ladder.

LYN

You're leaving already?

He shrugs and goes up the ladder.

CHARLIE

Well, I can't make up your mind for you. Stay here with your Daddy if you want... But I think you'd love the Family.

She sits a moment, and looks at the cactus needle still clutched in one hand. She takes it and presses it into her fingertip, drawing out a small drop of blood.

LYN

Charlie? I'm coming.

She licks the blood from her finger, and follows him out of the shelter.

round 2, Murder at India House

2008-11-23T23:12:00.002-06:00

FADE IN

EXT. INDIA HOUSE HOSTEL IN NEW ORLEANS, BACK PATIO - NIGHT

TOPHER (24) is slumped over in his wheelchair with a backpack on the back, a wine bottle propped between his scrawny legs.

A beach ball comes flying through the air and bounces off his head.

He pulls himself straight, one eyebrow raised high, smacks his lips and looks around.

FEMALE VOICE

Knock it off, guys. Hey Topher - you OK?

Topher whips the wheelchair around, and pops a wheelie - but ends up losing control and tipping backward. The wine in his lap spills all over his shirt and face.

Laughter (O.S.)

Inside the house, Topher sees the shadows of partiers on the walls, movement and dancing.

LEVI, a short guy with a trendy hair, looks down at him, and winds an unlit cigarette between his fingers. Without turning, he gestures for someone behind him

HIRO, expensive digital camera in front of his face, comes to the window. Levi whispers something in his ear.

Hiro lowers the camera, and gives Levi a playful punch.

Levi makes pistols with his fingers and shoots, "bang, bang" - not at Topher, but at someone nearby.

Hiro turns his camera in the same direction.

EMILY comes to his rescue and and lifts the chair back up.

EMILY

Those guys are jerks when they drink.

TOPHER

Me, on the other hand - I'm an amateur in the drunken asshatery department, but I think I've got a good start.

EMILY

Epic fail, dude. Next time aim the wine spillage in his direction.

She points up at Levi.

TOPHER

What's your name again?

EMILY

Oh? I may have to re-evaluate your amateur standing.

TOPHER

Oh come on. We just met. I would've forgot your name even sober.

EMILY

Well, that's reassuring. Emily.

Levi comes over with a drink in his hand.

LEVI

Topher my man, you seem to have run dry.

TOPHER

I don't think you could call me "dry."

He gestures to the spilled wine.

LEVI

One more. My signature cocktail.

Topher accepts the beverage, takes a sip.

Levi crouches down behind Emily, leans his chin on her head.

LEVI

Now, Em, if you don't get your rest, tomorrow I'm just going to kill you.

EMILY

Ha. Ha.

Topher nods off again.

INT. INDIA HOUSE, DORM ROOM - NIGHT

Topher is passed out, drooling on a pillow.

A scream somewhere in the building awakens him with a start.

TOPHER

Emily?

He sits up, and swings his legs over the side of the bed.

Woozy, he sways a moment. The room is dark. In fact, the whole place seems remarkably dark and quiet.

Another scream.

TOPHER

What the fuck? Hello? People?

His chair is parked at the foot of the bed. He scoots down to it, rummages through the backpack hanging on the back, and pulls out a flashlight.

He flashes it around the dorm room. No one is in any of the other beds. Hiro's camera sits on one of them, pointed at a spot in the middle of the floor, on and recording.

Topher rubs his face to wake up, and pulls his wine-stained shirt away from his body. He climbs into his chair, and wheels over to the camera.

He starts rolling, and then suddenly stops. Something wet and sticky on his hand. Something wet and sticky on the wheel.

He takes a deep breath, and shines the flashlight at his hand. Red. Not wine. Thicker. Visceral. Blood.

He shines the light around the room again. Stops on the camera. Looks in the direction it's pointed.

Face down on the floor, in a pool of dark wetness, is a body.

TOPHER

Oh shit.

He wheels to it, shining the light on it.

It's Hiro. And wet tracks lead back to Topher's bed.

Topher pulls his backpack into his lap, and digs through it. He pulls out his phone, flips it open, and gets a black screen.

TOPHER

No. No. I refuse to accept that.

He tried turning it on, and nothing happens. He throws it across the room.

Levi stands in the shadows at the doorway.

LEVI

Temper, temper.

TOPHER

We've got to call 911.

LEVI

No.

TOPHER

What?

He shines his flashlight on Hiro.

TOPHER

We've got to call 911, man.

Levi shakes his head. Walks away.

LEVI

Hey, man, where's your little girlfriend?

He disappears into the dark hall.

Topher's face drops.

FLASHBACK

Levi making a shooting gesture at someone, just before Emily picked up Topher's chair.

END FLASHBACK

Topher starts toward the hallway, but then pauses, and shines his flashlight around the room, desperately looking for something. He stops, then weighs the flashlight in his hands. It's got some heft. He swings it, then turns it off.

Closing his eyes for a moment, he adjusts to the dark. There is some light coming from outside, so it's not as pitch black as he first thought.

He slowly wheels into the hallway, flashlight in his lap, listening carefully.

HALLWAY

A squeak. The faint silhouette of Levi, who seems to be facing him.

He pushes forward.

Levi steps back.

COMMON ROOMS

They are in the common area now, with a little more light coming in from outside. Christopher stops and looks around.

There are people here - all sitting quietly, as if waiting, like they are waiting for a bus.

One of the party girls from last night sips a mug of coffee.

A guy nods to him.

TOPHER

Where is she? Where's Emily?

PARTY GIRL

It's her turn to die. I'm next.

No one reacts.

Levi continues to back away, leading him. In the dim light, Topher can see that Levi has another camera.

From under the door of one of the private rooms, a bright light shines.

Topher ignores Levi and rushes to it.

He slams the door open, and floodlights blind him for a moment.

PRIVATE ROOM

When they adjust, he sees Emily, gagged and tied to a leg of the bed, struggling. Her wrists are raw. Her clothes are slashed and bloodstained.

She sees Topher, and her eyes widen. She shakes her head no desperately.

Topher rushes in, but can't negotiate the small room.

A camera hangs from the ceiling, spinning, recording Emily's struggle.

Topher throws himself from the chair, and crawls to her.

Levi is behind them, recording them.

Emily looks at Levi, confused, then at Topher.

She reaches up, and pulls the gag out of her mouth.

EMILY

Dude. You ruined my scene.

Levi laughs.

Topher looks confused.

Levi walks over to the dangling camera, and turns it off.

He leans in close to Topher.

LEVI

Cut.

FADE IN

squeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

2008-11-21T00:27:00.003-06:00

So, uh, that competition?
The one I barely managed to complete the assignment for, with zero editing?

Figured I'd do Ok. Top third. Enough so that I could do well in the overall, since the points for each round accumulate.

I placed #1 in my group.

Wow.

Just a reminder that deadlines are good for me.
Specifically short, tight, non-negotiable deadlines.
Keeps me from over-thinking.

Faith

2008-11-06T21:32:00.003-06:00

I now have more faith in my country than I ever thought possible.

I have said for several years that what we needed as president was a leader. Not a politician, or a negotiator, or a businessman, or whatever else a president might be - but a leader. Someone who would hold up a vision to inspire the nation, and then encourage us to get there. That to re-invigorate innovation, promote service, and generate real change - we needed someone who could make us see that a) it is possible, still and b) it is our job as individuals, to make it happen - not to rely on the government.

Kennedy was such a leader. Martin Luther King. Lincoln, and Susan B. Anthony.

But I didn't think I'd see such a leader anytime soon. A leader like that requires not only their particular skills and charisma, but the right atmosphere for their message to flourish. I simply didn't think things were bad enough for the public to be motivated in any significant way.

When I first heard Obama speak, knowing nothing about him but the small rumblings that he might run for president one day. I don't remember what he said, I just remember being impressed...but I did not think we were ready to elect a black man president. The more I learned about him, the less chance I thought he had. Bi-racial, African father, raised abroad, hippie mom. I thought his name alone would be his downfall. That his opponents would just have to say "Barak Hussein Obama" a few times, and that while there was little chance the majority of voters would vote for someone with an ethnic name, there was no way they would vote for someone with a muslim name - and not just any muslim name, but one specifically demonized and associated with the worst kind of despotism.

And they tried...

...but we got past it.
Mr. Obama got us past it, but we were ready to go there.

We turned out in record numbers. We got past race, past ethnicity, past the demonization of a name.
And I am so proud, right now, to be an American.

Desire's Revenge

2008-10-28T14:42:00.005-06:00

Here it is, exactly as submitted. Genre: Horror, Location: Shipwreck, Object: Pillow
Written in 1 hr 40 minutes, with zero outlining, editing or proofreading.

(My first try posting something with scrippets, still have some kinks to work out with the formatting.)

EXT. OCEAN - NIGHT

Darkness, and the subtle shimmer of moving water.

Light, the beacon from a lighthouse, sweeps across the water, revealing sharp rocks and churning waves breaking on them.

The light sweeps by, then is gone leaving darkness for a moment. When it sweeps by again, a broken board floats by.

On the third pass, more flotsam - and among the wreckage, a man clinging to the remains of his bunk, clutching a white pillow. He appears dead, until his hands start to tremble, and he shivers.

One more pass. Something slippery and scaly slips from sight just as the light hits it. The man tilts into the water, floats a moment, bobbing, then is pulled underneath.

FLASHBACK

EXT. THE SCHOONER DESIRE'S REWARD - DAY

Quartermaster JOHN DUNHAM oversees the distribution of fish and goods from a net.

JOHN DUNHAM

Looks like we'll be eating well for a week boys.

The sailors, about a dozen men on the boat all cheer.

Just past the Desire is a fishing boat, run up on the rocks and sinking slowly.

JIM BLACK, the boatswain, watches the wreck.

JIM BLACK

Mister Dunham, sir, if I may?

JOHN DUNHAM

Yes, Boatswain?

JIM BLACK

If we could anchor here in the shallows a while, I could use some of the lumbar and ropes from the fishing boat to finish some repairs to the Desire.

John looks around, spys Captain WILL POWER inspecting the rigging, and waves him over.

JOHN DUNHAM

Ask the Captain.

WILL POWER

What can I do for you, Johnny?

JOHN DUNHAM

Mr. Black here proposes we stay a while, and cannibalize that unfortunate tub over there for the Desire's betterment.

WILL POWER

Is that so Jim?

JIM BLACK

Yes Captain. Since we've got food here to hold us a bit, I thought it would be a good time to remain still for a couple of days.

WILL POWER

Allrighty then, we will.

He notices something shine among the fishes in the nets, and reaches for it. It's a fancy comb, silver and mother of pearl. A pretty thing, tangled with seaweed.

WILL POWER

Quartermaster, I claim this small prize for myself. A pretty for one of me wenches when we return to Port Royal.

He plucks out the seaweed, and then is overcome by a sudden shiver, despite the sunny day.

INT. CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS - NIGHT

Will and John sit at the captain's table with the FIRST MATE.

John and the First Mate are laughing. John eats with his fork, carefully cutting of pieces of fish, and squeezing lemon over the top.

JOHN DUNHAM

Fresh fish and fresh lemons.

FIRST MATE

Better than salt cod and ancient limes. My skin was starting to form a salt crust.

Will is distracted, pulling bites of fish off the bones with his fingers and eating them. He toys with the comb under the table.

LATER

Alone, Will lays on his bunk, and tucks the comb into the cover of his pillow.

He closes his eyes, and when he opens them again, a beautiful woman is lying close beside him. Her blue-green eyes are full of the dreaminess of a calm sea, and her smile is warm and inviting.

She strokes his cheek, and then suddenly kisses him with forceful passion. Rolling him on his back, she rips open his shirt, and he realizes she is naked.

He reaches for her breasts, and she slides downward, kissing his chest, wiggling along his body.

LATER

Will opens his eyes again, and sits up. He's alone. He starts to shake off the dream, but notices his shirt is torn.

He touches the pillow where the mysterious woman appeared. It's wet.

EXT. DESIRE'S REWARD - DAY

Will wanders along the deck. The sharp eye that was inspecting the rigging has faded, his gaze is dull.

The sailors whisper to themselves as he passes.

The wreck in the distance has been stripped down to its bones.

FIRST MATE

Captain Power, sir, the men were wondering.

WILL POWER

The men?

FIRST MATE

Well, I was wondering - when might we be setting sail again?

WILL POWER

Well, when we are done with repairs.

FIRST MATE

Allright then sir.

He looks concerned and confused and walks away.

JOHN DUNHAM

Will, the repairs were completed yesterday. You said we'd sail after one more night.

WILL POWER

Oh? Did I? Then we will. We will sail tomorrow.

JOHN DUNHAM

What is going on? I can't remember the last time you were content to be in one place for nearly 7 days.

WILL POWER

This place has its charms, is all. But we'll sail tomorrow. Time to head to Port Royal.

INT. CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS - NIGHT

Will lays on his bunk, clutching the pillow to his cheek, eyes squeezed shut. He opens them again. Nothing has changed. He is still alone. He tries again, with the same result.

EXT. DESIRE'S REVENGE - DAY

Will has more bounce in his step, he's focused and awake.

WILL POWER

Allrighty men, what are you waiting for? To Port Royal?

EXT. DESIRE'S REWARD - NIGHT

A storm lashes at the ship.

Will stands at the helm, but there's a glazed expression on his face. He stares into the distance, as if he sees something.

JOHN DUNHAM

Will! Mind the rocks!

WILL POWER

Do you hear it?

JOHN DUNHAM

I hear only the storm.

WILL POWER

Her voice.

He walks away, and John tries to grab hold of the steering and bring the ship back under control, but the wheel is too hard to turn.

Suddenly a calm overcomes the ship.

Women climb over the railings. A dozen of them. Beautiful and naked, their skin glowing pink like the red tides. They each approach a man, taking his hand. The men all leave their posts and follow them. They lay down on the deck with the women.

John still fights with the wheel, as if he still sees the storm. He looks up and across the deck, as a wave washes over it, and sees the men, alone, lying down.

JOHN DUNHAM

What are you doing?

The captain, looking at the same deck, but in a calm and foggy night, sees the woman from his dream. She takes his hand and leads him into his room.

INT. CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS - NIGHT

She lays him down gently on the bunk, lays beside him, pressed against him, both of them resting their heads on the pillow.

Suddenly, again, she flips him on his back and straddles him.

EXT. DESIRE'S REWARD - NIGHT

The ship's bow breaks against the rocks, splintering, splitting open and letting the stormy water rush in.

Darkness, and the subtle shimmer of moving water.

Light, the beacon from a lighthouse, sweeps across the water, revealing sharp rocks and churning waves breaking on them.

The light sweeps by, then is gone leaving darkness for a moment. When it sweeps by again, a broken board floats by.

On the third pass, more flotsam - and among the wreckage, Will, clinging to the remains of his bunk, clutching a white pillow. He appears dead, until his hands start to tremble, and he shivers.

One more pass. Something slippery and scaly slips from sight just as the light hits it. William tilts into the water, floats a moment, bobbing, then is pulled, still clutching the pillow underneath.

recipe: Strawberry Ginger Salmon

2008-10-28T14:07:00.002-06:00

Before I forget what I did, I want to get it in writing:

Salmon steak - spread with a thick layer of ginger paste (the stuff in the tube, could use a lesser amount of fresh grated ginger as well), sprinkle with a little fish sauce, a dash of lime and a splash of sherry. Set aside to marinate (about 30 minutes)

Strawberries - about half a pound for two generous servings
Cut them into chunks. Add the juice of 1/2 a small lime. Sprinkle with a little basil. (About a dime sized amount in the palm for dried, or about 2x that for finely chopped fresh basil.) Drizzle with honey (about a 1/2 a tablespoon), soy sauce (about a teaspoon), and sprinkle with wasabi powder (about 1/2 teaspoon). Stir.

Coat a skillet with a light film of olive oil, and bring it up to high heat. Place the salmon in the pan, skin side down. Cover. Let cook on high heat for about 1 minute, then add a splash more sherry, a pinch of salt, cover again and turn to low. Let cook about 6 minutes, or until salmon just starts to flake a little when pressed. (It should still hold together well. If it flakes too much, it's overcooked.)

Heat strawberries in microwave about 1.5 minutes, till just warm.

Serve the salmon topped with a generous portion of the strawberry mixture.
I paired it with asparagus and wild rice - but the sweet strawberries made the asparagus taste bitter by contrast and the rice just wasn't quite right. In retrospect, I'd go with acorn or butternut squash, or sauteed spinach and quinoa or cous cous cooked in chicken broth with saffron.

ack!

2008-10-26T22:22:00.003-06:00

I entered the NYC midnight screenwriting challenge. For those not familiar with it, you are given a genre, a location, and an object and have 48 hours to write a 5-page screenplay.

I entered. Excited. Figured I had time off to work on it, since it was around my birthday.

...didn't realize that I'd be busy all day, shopping and getting a mani/pedi, then going out to dinner with my sister and my dad. (And a really outstanding dinner it was. Craft is my new favorite restaurant in Dallas. A little room for improvement with the service, but the food is uncomplicated and just heaven. Pricey. But heaven.) I mean, I knew I'd be busy, but thought I'd have some time to write. I didn't.

Still, I didn't stress about it, figured I'd write when I got home. Did not anticipate the results of eating braised short ribs, buffalo tenderloin, lamb shoulder (all dishes are served family style) and roasted jerusalem artichokes, pumpkin risotto, sauteed wild mushrooms...not to mention dessert. Oh, and let's not forget the mushroom fondue amuse bouche and the fois gras and roasted fig appetizer.) Specifically, I fell asleep with the notebook on my chest.

I never fall asleep while writing. Really. There is literally only one other time in my life I've done that.

OK, so today. I figured I could write a little at work. However, after two days off I was busy all day sorting things out, and preparing for the meeting after work, and finishing updating the stats for the clinic. I got out of there around 8, and realized that I had even less time than I thought - because the deadline was 11:59 EDT... and it takes me almost an hour to get home.

Get home, eat dinner rapidly, sit down, and it's 9:20.

at 10:48 I realize I'm almost done, but not quite - so I open up the website to start the entry, then return to my script and finish the last page. I squeak by, at 10:58 I'm uploading - and my spotty internet connection cuts out. It comes back a few minutes later and I am able to submit.

So, if they time it based on when I started the entry, I'm cool. If they base it on when I actually uploaded the file, I'm about 8 minutes late.

Of course, it's totally unedited or proofread and really desperately needs to be tightened and then finessed. Its not what I hoped for...BUT it did give me a really cool idea for a full length screenplay.

I'll post the script here soon, though I do not pretend that it's anything more than adequate... it's certainly not bad for having been written entirely in an hour and 38 minutes.

yes I'm still alive out here

2008-10-20T15:58:00.003-06:00

Managing the clinic takes a huge amount of energy. It's stressful, and I'll be honest: I'm not happy doing it. It's not quite what I'd imagined: a lot more administration, a lot more dealing with complaints and with needy people - both clients and employees.

So I've given myself permission to not think or write - a mental vacation - and spend my free time playing Warhammer Online.

Sometimes it's necessary to shut off for a while.

I'll be back. I always am. Either I'll find balance at this job, or I will go back to doing massage.

Where am I?

2008-07-21T10:00:00.003-06:00

I was promoted to manager at Massage Envy, running the location in Plano, and we're severely understaffed right now so I'm working pretty much all the time.

Anyone want to work a front desk/sales position? $8/hr plus commissions on memberships you sell. Low key and relaxed environment. Full and part time, morning and night shift available. Get in touch and let me know!

kitchen creativity

2008-06-11T23:55:00.006-06:00

I've been a bit stuck with my writing for the last, oh, couple of years - for reasons I'll get into in another post (real soon) - but in the meantime, my creativity has found other outlets, primarily cooking.

So I've decided to include the occasional food post here

A few notes about the way I cook...I improvise a lot. I take risks. I experiment. I play. When I tell you I can't give you a recipe, it's true. Not only do I rarely know how much I used of any ingredient, I often don't remember every ingredient I used. When I want to try a new dish, I research and find about a dozen recipes. I see what they have in common, and what items and amounts vary - and go from there. I also have enough experience to have a very good idea of how certain flavors will play together, or how changing the amounts of ingredients will effect the texture.

Recently I did a brisket, slow cooked for about 18 hours. Yes, that's right, 18 hours. Brisket is tricky - and the only way to really get it tender is to use a whole one (around 10-12 pounds), with the fat cap on (yes, that's just what it sounds like - a good inch or more of fat on the top of the whole thing) and cook it as slowly as you can manage while keeping it as moist as possible (the fat cap helps with this.) I made a rub that I liked, and thankfully have some left over so I'll use it again: salt, black pepper, smoked hot paprika, sweet paprika, dry mustard, cumin, cinnamon (and maybe some other things I've forgotten).

But the thing I was most happy with was the sauce. It was a Dr. Pepper Citrus BBQ. Where I got that notion, I'm not sure. I saw a recipe for a mop sauce (that is, a thin BBQ sauce you mop onto the meat while it cooks) that used root beer, and Dr. Pepper just has a little more complex flavor - so I thought I'd try it. I added the juice of a couple of oranges, some of the dry rub seasoning, a fair amount of liquid smoke (pecan), a little cider vinegar, a little ketchup, and some honey. I simmered it, letting it cook down a bit - and when it was time to baste, I took some of the drippings out of the pan and mixed them into the sauce before using it to baste. The resulting sauce was complex, a little smoky, a little tangy (without being too vinegary - which shuts down the taste buds), a little sweet (but not cloying.) I have no idea if I can repeat that sauce, but I'll definitely play with it again. I'd like to try a thicker version with more citrus on some chicken.

Last night my sister and I shared a Lamb and Apricot tagine. I made something similar a couple of months ago, using dried apricots. This time I used fresh, and you'd never even realize they were the same dish. I used lamb neck this time, too, which is much leaner (and way cheaper) than the shanks I used last time, so the flavor was more mild, not as gamey. If you're going to stew the meat, then a cut like neck is fine - the meat falls off the bone, is tender, the marrow contributes to the dish, and if you have dogs they will appreciate it.

I'd started the tagine over a week ago - because I'd picked up the lamb, not realizing how long the brisket would last us - and had it in a container in the fridge. I wasn't sure if it'd still be good, but when I pried open the top and got a bright whiff of fresh apricot - I knew it was all good. (A cold fridge and air-tight container makes a huge difference.)

For those who aren't familiar with the term: a tagine is a stew, traditionally cooked in a ceramic pot with a high conical top. the word actually describes the vessel, but is applied to the dishes made in it as well. It's designed to cook on a low fire, and works best in a modern kitchen on a stove top. The high cone captures the moisture, allows it to condensate, and drip back into the food. Moroccan tagines are generally made with a cheap cut of meat (often lamb or chicken), a few veggies, some fruit and maybe honey - plus a complex blend of spices.

I'm in love with the Moroccan spice blend Ras el Hanout. Like curry, there are as many variations as there are cooks - and some of the ingredients often used in Morocco are illegal here (like Spanish Fly) - but it's still a wonderous thing. The one I bought from World Market includes not only "warm" aromatic spices like cinnamon, cardamom, turmeric, black pepper and ginger, but rosebuds and lavender. My mother used to refer to cooking as alchemy, and all I need to do open the container and smell this in order to believe there's some kind of magic here.

So - this tagine, I threw together the following: lamb neck, ras el hanout, salt, the juice of a lemon plus the rind, a little honey, red wine, a couple handfuls of baby carrots, and a can of diced tomatoes. I used some mint I'd grown, but I have no talent for gardening and the mint somehow managed to have almost no flavor - so it had no noticeable impact in the dish. (Last time I made the tagine, with dried apricots and lamb shank, the mint played beautifully off of the tomatoes.) When it was all done, I felt like it still needed something - so when I re-heated it last night, I added garbanzos and more ras el hanout and red wine.

This dish was a real joy. The brightness of the apricots and tomatoes balanced the heaviness of the lamb, and the spices wafted off of it, filling the room with the smell.

Good food, especially when I am involved in it from conception, to production, to consumption, to be transported to a realm of pure sensuality.

Right now, I've let my weight climb up alarmingly, and my sister's having health problems related to her weight and diet - so most of my posts on cooking will focus on healthy foods. Whole grains, small amounts of processed carbohydrates, lots of legumes and beans, lots of veggies and fruits, and lean meats of all kinds. I'll be using these posts as a way to keep myself excited about cooking healthy, and remembering that tea-smoked salmon with a wasabi vinaigrette can be as sensual and fulfilling as brisket burnt ends.

Golden Ages of Cinema

2008-06-05T02:11:00.004-06:00

It's generally accepted that the '30s and '40s were the golden age for cinema, and that more great films were made in 1969 than in any other year.

But In a recent blog, Earl Pomerantz says

1939. The Oscar winner was Gone With the Wind, the nominees – among others – The Wizard of Oz (Dr. M’s favorite), Stagecoach, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, and Ninotchka, leaving no room fo Beau Geste, Gunga Din, Young Mr. Lincoln and The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Not the mention The Thin Man. May I have your comparable list of any other year? Or any era, beyond the Thirties and Forties, where, by the way, the movie business was just as passionately committed to making a profit?

This was my response:

1976:

All the President's Men
Bound for Glory
Carrie
Marathon Man
Network
The Omen
Rocky
Taxi Driver

That's a pretty good list - and there are comparable ones from every year from 1969 to 1979 (with some stellar films in '67 and '68 as well.)

And of course, 1939 also included Hitler - Beast of Berlin, Barricade, Bachelor Mother, Boys' Reformatory, Andy Hardy Gets Spring Fever, and Daughter of the Tong.

Every year has good and bad films.

Though, I do admit, the balance has been off for a while - I think it's cyclical. Film improves every time it's threatened by new technology. In the '30s - there were over 40 million radios in use in homes in the US. To compete with radio shows, the movies had to be better. In the 60's TVs had proliferated - and in the 70's, with the advent of the VCR, movies had to shine a little more to compete with videos.

I think we're about due for another golden age, as "new media" becomes more prominent and studios realize that to compete with DVRs and the Internet, they don't need to make more expensive movies - just better ones.

---

(I left out The Man Who Fell to Earth (one of my favorite movies), and a handful of other favorites)

I get frustrated with the kind of nostalgia that says things were better once and they'll never be that great again because it's all ruined. It reminds me of the nostalgia for a fake-perfect America that conservatives use, an imagined 1950s where everything was Leave it to Beaver and there were no poor people, or shell-shocked vets, and women never minded not being able to divorce their alcoholic husbands, or to work as something other than a secretary or waitress when they were widowed.

There were a lot of great movies in 1939, and in 1976 - but every year has amazing films, groundbreaking work, and every year has schlock. Indiana Jones, this year, is schlock. But did you see Iron Man? Critically acclaimed movies thus far this year include: Reprise, Priceless, 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days, The Visitor, and The Counterfeiters - and we're not even close to "Oscar season."

My friends are goofy.

2008-06-01T23:15:00.001-06:00

That's why I loves 'em

No words...

2008-05-31T18:14:00.001-06:00

He plays with his...

2008-05-31T17:53:00.001-06:00

action!

2008-05-24T21:34:00.001-06:00

Breakdown of what I consider one of the best action sequences ever filmed:

http://eddieonfilm.blogspot.com/2008/05/indy-in-peril-action-scene-breakdown.html

slowdown

2008-05-23T12:31:00.002-06:00

I've had a lot of pain recently in one of my shoulders, and I've had carpal tunnel syndrome symptoms. This is from doing deep tissue massage. I've cut back my hours, but when I started I went from 3-4 massages a month to 36 a week, and it was way too much. I'm down to an average of about 28, and that would be perfect - but I need to take time off to heal...just can't afford it.

Anyway, I'm doing what I can with ice and massage...but one impact it has is that typing hurts. I can get about one sentence out before my hands start falling asleep or throbbing, and I have to pause. Silly me, I was doing it anyway - just making very slow progress.

I realized this week that spending all this time on my computer writing was hindering my healing.

So, not much blogging, not many comments on my favorite blogs, and no progress on my screenplay. Indefinitely.

I'll be back. (And I'm still out there, reading, just avoiding typing )

the Essential Caesura

2008-05-11T22:52:00.006-06:00

Caesura is a literary term, referring, in poetry, to a pause that occurs naturally when a line is spoken. It is used purposefully, using the rhythms of speech to make it fall in a specific place, to create a desired effect, and can be soft (barely noticeable) or hard (as in a full stop, such as a period.) Without these little pauses, the words all run together an become meaningless. When used skillfully, they can not only add to the flow of a piece, but can actually create implied meaning. (For example, when I sing White Christmas, when I get to the line, "everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe," I like to pause after "turkey". That pause give a whole new meaning to the line.)

What I've noticed recently, is that there is some equivalent to the caesura in all art forms.

On Dancing with the Stars, one of the judges is fond of saying that a good dance needs "light and shade," by which he means aggressive or flashy moments should be punctuated by quiet ones in order to have the most impact. A dance that is all "pow" simply isn't as interesting.

In advertising and print design, we talk about "white space." The page needs to have a certain amount of white space in order to look like something meaningful, or it all bleeds together. A page of advertising that's full of exclamation points and neon lettering and bright photos might as well be a black and white list of dense text - when everything is loud nothing stands out. High end advertising often contains a large amount of white space, and may be a single large object on a white or other simple background, with little more than a short slogan and a logo.

Examples:
3G
VW
Coke
Dove

as opposed to something busy like this, where the message gets lost

This one is interesting because it effectively blends the background details so that they appear monochromatic, and then it also echoes for emphasis and to play on the message. This kind of echo, or refrain, is used in music and poetry in a similar manner.

In visual art, we talk about "negative space," which is, simply, the space not used. It applies not only to painting and photography, but to three-dimensional and functional arts such as sculpture, architecture, furniture, and even jewelry.

Negative space is used to create optical illusions, where we focus on one image, and only when we shift our perception do we see another image as well. Perhaps in a similar manner, in a story what seemed like the background, or what seemed like the pauses between action, could suddenly pop to the forefront, while the the other story becomes backgrounded.

Which brings me to screenwriting and film. The caesura is used here as well.

Visually - framing, focus, and light are used to direct the eye. Where the eye is not directed is the negative space. Look at the use of negative space in these filmic images, and the way they dramatize the actor, make them seem bigger than life, or overwhelmed by their environment:
Pirates of the Caribbean
7-Year Itch
Platoon
Sound of Music
Serenity

Without the negative space surrounding them, these moments in the film would feel smaller, less important. The negative space sets them apart, sets the actors apart.

Here's a great image from Lord of the Rings, where the actor becomes part of the negative space, a shade lighter than the background, and the focus is on an object in the foreground.

These things might be implied in a script by describing the big sky behind the character, or the tight box enclosing them. The focus on an object could be highlighted by describing the character matching the background: grey, more than white, as the tower was a grey of a darker shade - and the red eye of the orb glowed before him (OK, that sucks, but you get the idea.)

But film is not static, and negative space can be manipulated to create meaning and moods in movies through movement - whether it's as simple as pulling back to increase the volume of negative space, or pulling in to tighten on an actor. Changing the color, texture, and location. Changing the focus, sharp on one actor or object, then switching focus to another.

What I'm most interested in right now, however, is the use of the caesura in screenwriting. Pauses in the story. Quiet moments. Or, as Mystery Man put it in a recent post, breathing room.

The most straightforward use is perhaps to modulate pacing. A few movies have come out recently that are non-stop go-go-go, and while Crank and others like it are fun, I wonder if they would have been improved by a little breathing space. The pace goes from 0 to 60 very quickly, and to maintain the feeling of speed, needs to keep getting faster. When you're driving at 70mph, it stops feeling fast after just a few minutes. To keep feeling the speed, you need to slow down a bit at regular intervals. It also gives the character a chance to believably rest and have the energy to go hard again.

Another use of slow moments is to build suspense and tension. The calm before the storm (in a natural disaster movie, this might be literal.) It's suspense, rather than surprise. Hitchcock said it best.

There is a clear difference between surprise and suspense […]. We are sitting here and having an innocent conversation. Let us assume that there is a bomb under this table between us. […] suddenly there is a loud boom and the bomb goes off. The audience is surprised, but before this surprise they have only seen a very ordinary scene without any significance. Let us instead look at suspense scene. The bomb is under the table and the audience is aware of this because they have seen the anarchist plant it there. They also know that the bomb will go off at one o’clock, and up on the wall is a clock showing that the time is now quarter to one […]. In the first scene we have given the audience 15 seconds of surprise […] but in the last scene we have given them fifteen minutes of suspense.

Those moments of suspense are when an audience becomes invested in the result, and those moments are the ones they remember. Surprise may get their heart rate up, but nothing's been invested, so without another surprise immediately after the moment passes and is soon forgotten.

Another use of the caesura, or dramatic pause, is to emphasize the importance of a moment. This can be a small one, and need not even be a full scene. A pause can simply underline whatever occurred right before, or let us know that what we see next is something to pay attention to.

If a character simply walks by our protagonist on the street, stops and looks in a window, and moves on, the audience is unlikely to even take note. That's just an extra, a passerby. If, however, the protagonist has just stopped to, say, check at their watch or look at the sky and are essentially doing nothing for a moment before that other person passes them, and as that other person stops and looks in the window, then the audience is likely to take note of them and wonder what their significance is. You can bring this character back, and many audience members will remember them.

It can also underline theme. A moment that is quiet will give the audience time to reflect, and think about what's happened and why. Small moments, with small reactions from the characters, are ones the audience can fill with their own meaning. If these come right after a significant thematic moment, then it will serve to underscore that idea. Say, the character looks at a photo - and then sits back on the couch for a minute, and gets up and starts straightening the room. Whatever was in that photo becomes more important than if they look at it, put it down, and move on. If they look at it, then rush out the door - the photo may be important to the plot, but with the quiet moment, it's likely to speak more to either theme or character.

Which brings me to the final use of quiet moments in a film: character development. Whether they highlight some element of the character's background or history, or show something about their nature, or give them time to process an emotion - this is a challenging way to use the filmic caesura, but may be the most rewarding for the writer. Well, if you like focusing on your characters, that is. Which I'd say most of us screenwriters do.

Examples:

A man goes to a park, and walk around. Maybe he kicks the leaves, or stops at a particular bench, smells the flowers on a particular rosebush. You know he is remembering this place, or one very much like it.

Or - she folds laundry. Every shirt is military-precise. Items are separated, socks are paired, things are hung or put into drawers right away. Then imagine, against this quiet background, she comes across an unmatched sock - a man's sock - and sits down with it, on the bed, sighs, and fights back tears as she strokes the pillow on the opposite side of the bed. This is a much more dramatic and memorable way to tell us her husband is missing (dead? at war? run off?) than if we caught the news through dialogue. If it hadn't been a quiet scene, it would not have been pregnant with implied meaning. Such a small thing as a sock, and touching a pillow, would get lost in a busier, faster scene. The questions about exactly what happened can be answered later, with a close up of an object or a single line of dialogue that wouldn't have had meaning unless the audience was already looking for answers. (When she goes to the post office, someone stops and puts their hand on her arm and says, I'm sorry. She nods and thanks them.)

The caesura is an essential building block of the art of the screenplay, just as any other art, and I'm sure there are many other uses for it.

bad movie making

2008-04-30T23:48:00.004-06:00

This week I saw what is one of the worst films I've ever seen: Striking Distance with Bruce Willis. I hadn't heard of it, and had to check to see whether it was meant to be a comedy - because it had some of the funniest scenes I've seen in a thriller, stuff that I thought surely had to be intentionally played for laughs...but no, it doesn't seem that's the case.

Examples:

Bruce Willis' character Tom is assigned to River Duty (basically coast guard) after ratting out his partner and alienating all the other homicide detectives. He drinks too much and doesn't get along with his partners (surprise) until a woman (Sarah Jessica Parker) is assigned to work with him. After she's introduced, he stands on his boat, looking back at her - and picks up her wet suit. It has molded cups. He looks at the molded cups, then at his new partner, then back at the cups again. Now, forget the campiness of the scene...I've never seen a wetsuit with molded cups. I have female friends who dive and surf, and just to be sure, I Googled women's wetsuits. Nope, they don't come with prominent boob holders. The intent of the scene seemed to have been to emphasize the potential awkwardness in working with a woman...

Then there's the fact that their first time out on the water together she saves his ass. There's about five minutes of "tense" (or not really) emphasis of their differences before they jump into the bonding crisis.

And I knew they'd end up sleeping together. Because all female cops are sluts who sleep with their partners. But then, there was no set up for it. I think the (one) scene where she's wearing a dress to the policeman's banquet (despite the fact that most of the others are in their uniforms) and he tells her she looks "different" was supposed to let us know they were falling for each other, but I was surprised when suddenly with no precursor there was a scene of them waking up in bed together. [HINT: You need more than one comment before characters risk ridicule and their career to have sex for it to be believable. And failing to set something up is not the same thing as making it surprising]

Of course, some of the best bad stuff comes early on. The partner Tom ratted out for beating a suspect doesn't show up to the sentencing hearing, most likely because he's making a scene on a bridge over the river. The partner's dad, who is Tom's uncle (cop families) and the partner's brother are trying to talk him down, as he gives a maudlin speech about how mom drove in the river and they never found her body.

Tom, against the advice of everyone else, tries his hand at talking the partner down, and it involves a weird kind of baby talk. The partner says, "Who's the best cop? Who's the best cop?" and Bruce Willis answers, "You the best cop". He reaches out his hand, the partner reaches back and then suddenly whips around and throws himself in the water. I was completely baffled as to why these men were speaking baby talk to each other, but it's revealed near the end that these guys grew up together and used to try to out-do one another to see who was the best cop. I guess it was supposed to be touching, or maybe even creepy - but instead it was weird as hell and funny, especially since we didn't know any of that when the scene occurred.

But the best scene in the movie, the one that helped set the comic tone for me, happens near the beginning - at the inciting incident.

Brucie (Tom) is driving a car with his dad riding shotgun (since he's ratted out his partner,) and they're chasing a bad guy, with several other cops behind them. The bad guy goes off the road and flips. Bruce follows and flips too.

Next scene, three cops are pulling Bruce Willis out from under the car as he re-gains consciousness, helping him try to stand. Because that's what you want to do when someone's been crushed in a car accident and knocked out - move them, pull on them and get them upright. There was no imminent danger of the car exploding, the paramedics were already there - we know, because that's the next shot, a body in a bag being flopped onto a gurney. Because it's more important to load up the dead guy than attend the wounded and heavily bleeding one.

Bruce asks about dad, realizes that's his dad, and kind of stumbles/falls to his knees (on the legs that weren't working at all a second ago) and (get this) strokes his dad's hair as he sobs over the body. Which, y'know, had me groaning - but I didn't get a full belly laugh until I saw that in the background, they popped open the trunk of the bad guy's car, and there, out of focus, as Bruce makes out with his dad's corpse, the body of a woman in a red dress pops out and flops over with a bounce.

I'm all for making a single shot convey as much info as possible, but this is better done in more subtle ways than bouncing bodies - even if they are out of focus.

There's more, there's more - but you get the idea.

Almodovar's Women

2008-04-24T00:33:00.007-06:00

I finally watched Volver last week. As with all of Almodovar's films that I've seen so far, I spent the first 20 minutes or so not sure I'd like it, and by the end was totally engrossed in the fates of the characters. One of the reasons I get so involved in an Almodovar movie is the fact that the women are all crazy, contradictory messes...in other words, something like me.

Admittedly, the women in the earlier films (in particular Women on the Verge) are more like drag queens, but the stories themselves were more like soap operas - over the top in content, color, and style as well as character. But by All About My Mother, there's a definite shift. As his storytelling becomes a little less strident, so too his characters become less exclamatory...and many of his characters are women. This may not seem remarkable, but just try to think of films where the leads are women. Where the female characters have a relationship or interaction with each other, especially one that's not simply about men.

But simply featuring women isn't enough. The women are presented with difficult circumstances, hard choices, uncertain alliances - and they find their way through.

Volver, in particular, features some of the most mature portrayals of women I've ever seen in a movie. There is insanity and a kind of willful superstitiousness, a desire to believe the stories and myths because they work for the narratives each person creates about their own lives - and when these narratives these women create intersect with parts of other people's narratives in ways that don't fit, the characters are forced to examine themselves.

The women find ways to make reality work in their own personal stories. A lot of it is like the fake bottom Penelope Cruz wears to make her look more womanly (can you imagine an American actress doing this, and not for fat jokes but because she's too skinny to be a believable mom?) - it's a fiction that gives an illusion of reality as part of a myth, but those myths are ultimately what allows everyone to function.

SPOILERS

Raimunda's mother is dead. We start the movie at her grave. But when they visit the auntie, there's evidence that the mother is there in that house. Her smell in the air, her special cookies baked for them. They dismiss it at first, then they subscribe to the idea that Irene (Raimunda's mother) is a ghost, taking care of the old auntie. The sister even takes her in, and continues to half act as if Irene were a willful spirit - but no, she is alive. Everyone continues to pretend she is dead, however, because it hides another truth that's buried in a myth - the fact that Raimunda's father was with another woman when he died. It's only by managing a difficult balance of truth and myth that the characters are able to confront what really happened, and only as a ghost that Irene is able to make amends with the daughter of the other woman.

Of course, it's all much more complicated than that. This is Almodovar, after all. But it is this complexity that makes the women real. That makes us go from one outrageous circumstance or belief to another, without ever being thrown out of the story. Raimunda, for instance, is very good at pretending and ignoring the truth. She's had to be since she was a teenager, when she hid the fact that her father impregnated her. Pretended that the loser she ended up marrying to cover her shame and provide her daughter a father was more than a convenience.

I also love Almodovar's women because when faced with situations that would crush so many others, they simply go on, as we all must. They make terrible messes and then they find a way to live with them. They find the strength, sometimes in their friendships with each other, sometimes in themselves, and they are often surprised by it.

Isn't that how we all muddle through? With some myths about ourselves, a few hard truths, leaning on our friends a little and managing to find surprising strength in ourselves to not only muddle through impossible situations but even managing to shine once in a while.

It's refreshing to see such beautiful messes in a movie.

Sequence - the "Secret" Structure of Movies

2008-03-31T00:22:00.006-06:00

I knew there was something I was forgetting. When Malvin Wald died recently, I tried to remember what I actually learned in his class...but that was so long ago. I only remembered that he didn't know how to use a VCR, wrote the script for the most popular documentary of Marilyn Monroe, and the guy who wrote a Crossroads won the Nissan FOCUS award.

What I was missing, and so desperately needed to remember, was Sequence. I was reminded of this when someone on Triggerstreet asked if anyone used the Sequence approach. Ding-ding! Bells went off, and I Googled it. Turns out there's a book on the subject now.

Now, you read a lot about the Three Act Structure, which is the most common (though certainly not only) dramatic structure for plays in Western literature. Screenplays, in many ways, evolved from stage plays...but there was one physical element of early movies that was a stronger determining factor than drama in how a film was put together: the reel.

Reels were ten minutes long. Each reel typically was a self-contained mini-movie, or sequence. The sequences still hold together in the context of a larger narrative, build on one another and move the overall story forward - but by making each ten-minute section it's own piece of narrative, you keep the movie, well, moving.

An average movie would have eight or nine sequences. Each one focuses on a character, leads up to a complication, and has a resolution (if only a partial one, that leads to further complications - and thus further sequences.) These sequences can blend well with a three-act structure, the mini-resolutions falling around the turning points, or they can be seen as following their own rhythm. Shorter sequences, interspersed, can be used to develop sub-plots.

As a screenwriter, it's less intimidating to approach ten- to twelve-page sections. As a film-goer, it's more interesting to watch a film that has smaller sequences with rising action, conflict and resolution in each of them. It's also closer to the approach used by TV writers (each section between commercials is sometimes called an "act" but is really a sequence.)

By focusing on sequences, it becomes much easier to keep the story moving through the dreaded middle-of-the-second-act doldrums.

I've been stuck on a screenplay for months. Starting it, stopping, looking at my outline, re-evaluating my characters - because I couldn't find a way to get through the middle to the end. I had my beginning and ending down, and was on the verge of letting this one go...but remembering Sequences has let me work out an outline for the entire main plot of my screenplay, and I'm going through now and fine-tuning it. But it's all there. And my "second act" has not four Sequences, but five. And if I feel that I need to break them down further, I can - keeping in mind that each one needs to have rising action and a resolution.

quotes

2008-03-23T19:55:00.004-06:00

Spent this evening browsing blogs I hadn't read before (and now am subscribed to far too many, but I will thin out the crop after I watch then for a while), and in doing so found a couple of quotes I love. I'll be using these in my signatures.

One script. One feature. One pilot. One credit. No one in or out of this Guild is more than 120 pages away from the A-list. - Josh Friedman

Cinema and storytelling is there to smash the jail that we've put ourselves in. - Anthony Minghella

Ones I have already been rotating for my signatures include:

Screenwriting and filmmaking is the most money you can make writing poetry - Gordy Hoffman

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass... - Anton Chekhov

Script Frenzy

2008-03-21T15:13:00.003-06:00

I do well with deadlines, so something like Script Frenzy is perfect for me. A complete screenplay in 30 days (or less.)

Also -
I used to direct those seeking a quick summary of screenwriting format to the Nicholl's page on the subject, but Script Frenzy's is more complete, plus they have worksheets for character, setting and such. So this is my new go-to.

Mystery Man Does It Again

2008-03-13T15:32:00.003-06:00

This is why I have a massive intellectual crush on Mystery Man,
and why he has respect from many as one of the most interesting and informative bloggers on screenwriting on the web.

breakthrough!

2008-03-12T00:07:00.001-06:00

Feeling very optimistic.
Have been stuck on a screenplay that I wrote the first draft of a few years ago and am doing a page one re-write on. Last night as I was falling asleep, I had a huge breakthrough - that what's needed is to take the idea back to the original.

I'd made some changes to the main character as I developed it, and in retrospect, those changes weakened her, resulting in a stronger secondary character and too little external conflict.

If I take the character back to what my original concept of her was, while keeping those elements of conflict that have been added as I've gone along, then I think it will work.

Write What You Know

2008-03-07T00:06:00.002-06:00

Imagination is a powerful tool. It can carry us into areas that no one before has ever conceived of, it can solve problems, it can pull beauty from nearly nothing. Imagination is essential to a writer. So why then, are new writers so often admonished to "write what you know?"

The truth is, for a writer who knows themselves, there is no contradiction.

Our imaginings are the product, just as everything else about us, of a combination of genetics and instinct with experience. It serves a function in our personal cognitive and social development (and in our development as a society, allowing humanity the diversity and adaptability that makes us so distinct from other species...even our ability to communicate with one another through language involves a level of abstraction that's greater than most species and thus an imagination to interpret - but that's another topic.)

In short, even the most grandiose or unusual imaginings are founded on things we know. But for most writers, imagination is not a problem. Those of us who are driven to create are more likely to have an active imagination that tends to wheel off in its own direction, that becomes it's own incentive to create. Thus, the admonition "write what you know" is a way to help ground our work.

It can function in the basic sense of knowing your material. Do research, character background studies, and know the reality behind the story.

It can function to encourage writers to experience life, to have a broader range to draw from.

But I think that the most useful and powerful function of writing what you know is specificity. The more specific and personal a work, the greater the likelihood that it will transcend itself and become universal.

It becomes "real" in ways we can't anticipate when we know that a brand of tennis shoes that were popular in a time a place our characters occupy, when we know that a certain carpet color is common to cheap motels built in the 80's, when we know how you hold a fishing line and how much room you need to cast a fly. Because when we know these things, our audience has a point of reference, and it becomes real to them.

Humans are social. We desire belonging, we are constantly (usually unconsciously) searching for connection. When a writer provides points of connection by giving specific, clear details, then the audience will join them.

It becomes "real" in ways that are surprising when we talk about our bi-racial friend who buys giant dubs to prove he's black while bragging about "sounding" white on the phone. Or about the dweeb who tells us for weeks how beautiful and sexy we are, turning up when we're out for coffee or at the grocery store, but the minute we say clearly that we're not interested pointedly calls us a fat bitch, and then whines because being a "nice guy" gets them nowhere. And the feeling of helplessness as we watch our mother on life support, surrounded by plastic tubes and wires that seem to hold a once-dynamic woman in stasis. The more specific you are about your experiences, the more likely you are to have people tell you they understand, and that it's "just like" something they've gone through.

So that feeling of helplessness gets attached to an image of an astronaut, so dependent on the tubes that connect her to life. Or the dweeb backs up their aggressive response to rejection with a knife. And bi-racial guy becomes a human raised in an alien environment. Focus on the specifics, and these situations will become familiar not only to us, but to an audience.

Thus, a writer must know themselves, so that when they do imagine flying, they can place the sensation of the rush as they dive through the air as something akin to riding a roller coaster. So that when feel a rush as they ride a roller coaster, they can think: this is what superman feels like when he's flying.

Know yourself. Pay attention. And then write what you know.

Defending Home

2008-03-06T22:01:00.004-06:00

My contribution to the Triggerstreet collaborative screenplay titled Hate.

INT. SQUAT ENTRYWAY - DAY

An iron gate with a rusted chain and heavy padlock guards the stairway into a dilapidated apartment building.

At the top of a short flight of stairs a dark wooden door, pulled off its hinges, leans against the frame.

Plaster, painted an ugly late-communist shade of yellow, cracks away from crumbling brick walls.

From behind the door, JIRI emerges with a ladder and a toolbelt. He runs a hand through his limp black mohawk, sets the door in its frame, and attaches the lower hinge.

(O.S.) A loud slam followed by muffled cursing.

Jiri jumps down the steps and peers out the gate.

Cobblestones line the floor of the entryway before the gate. The graffiti is a mixture of the political and the obscene - anarchy signs and cunts.

One end of the entryway is open to a courtyard enclosed with a two-story brick wall. At the other, a pair of heavy doors shelter the space from the street.

The doors open and JACK (40, American) steps in, walking with the especial purposefulness of a drunk attempting to look sober. He cradles something inside his motorcycle jacket, and gestures for BESNIK to follow him.

Besnik's dark hair and moustache are streaked with gray, as is the dingy black coat that tops his workman's jumpsuit. He shakes his head, and steps into the entry.

JIRI
Jezis! Drzhobo.

JACK
Are you telling me to shut up? Me? Do you forget who I am?

JIRI
Tak fine: drzhobo, Sensei.

He bows slightly.

JACK
That's more like it. Come, have a drink with me and...

BESNIK
Besnik.

Jack pulls a bottle of Becherovka out of his jacket.

JIRI
OK. Let me finish this.

He turns back to his work, and nods at someone coming down the stairs.

SARA (26, American) sticks her head around the corner.

SARA
I knew that was you, Jack.

JACK
Saranova!

SARA
You're drunk.

JACK
And I'll still kick your ass.

SARA
Ah, yes, drunken master.

JACK
Aw, you speak so sweetly to me, my darling. Sara, me girl, come have a drink with your husband for it is cold in our abode and I must numb myself before I sleep.

Sara steps around Jiri on his ladder and unlocks the padlock.

JACK
This is Besnik, he works across the street, on the restoration.
Jiri hops down from the ladder. Offers Besnik a cigarette.

BESNIK
Yes. I am a mason.

He takes the cigarette, lights it, and then offers one from his own pack to Jiri, and to Sara.

JIRI
What will it be?

Sara declines the cigarette, but Jiri accepts with a nod.

BESNIK
A bank, I'm afraid.

JIRI
That's not good. We're not quite legal yet. The neighbors don't like us. A bank...They will not like a squat across the street.

LATER - DAY

The door at the top of the landing is attached now. It's been painted bright blue.

(O.S.) A loud slam, followed by the sound of several pairs of booted feet.
Police in black riot gear storm the building.

One officer has a bullhorn.

OFFICER WITH BULLHORN
(in Czech)
Police. Open the gate.

Jiri opens his door, sees them, and immediately runs further up into the building.

JIRI
(O.S.)
Polizei!
OFFICER WITH BULLHORN
Have your identity ready.

Another officer with a large pair of bolt cutters snaps the lock. The gate swings forward, and the police rush up the stairs.

Out in the courtyard, Sara and Jack jump from a window onto the top of a low building. Sara reaches behind her and catches a baby. Another couple drops onto the roof, and all of them run across it, and disappear into a neighboring yard.

LATER - NIGHT

KAREL, his hoodie up, drinks a beer and sits on the steps just inside the gate, which is held closed with a new lock. A candle burns beside him.

Jack and Sara return.

Karel hands them keys and pulls out a smoke.

KAREL
We had to get you out. We knew they would be looking for you.

JACK
Why?

KAREL
In Germany, they claimed foreigners in the squats were proof of an international conspiracy. The squat is not illegal, but conspiracy...

He opens the gate.

LATER - NIGHT

The couple with the baby return. HELENA sings a Russian lullaby to the baby in IVAN's arms.

They see the new lock on the gate.

HELENA
Ahoj!

She walks to the courtyard, and from the shadows jumps a SKINHEAD BOY with a bat, followed by two others.

They knock her down, and kick her.

IVAN
Skinheady!

A boy rushes Ivan.

SKINHEAD BOY
(in Czech)
No foreigners in our fatherland.

He turns around and covers the baby with his body as the bat strikes him across the back.

Footsteps on the stairs. Half a dozen anarchists come running down, shouting.

Helena tries push herself up to stand, but one of the skinheads kicks her arms out from under her.

She screams as her arm breaks.

The skinheads run away, taking advantage of the moment it takes to get the padlock open to get away.

LATER - DAY

Jiri, Karel, and Ivan stand with a few other at attention in a martial arts stance, facing Jack. Some of them wear a black gi under their hoodies.

Helena, her arm in a cast, watches.

They go through their forms in pairs, sparring. Jiri and Karel are good. The others are less practiced.

Jack walks through them and corrects their form.

JACK
Stop, stop.

They stop.

He hands a stick to Karel, and lights a cig. Karel swings at him, and he deflects it without even turning to look, then quickly strikes Karel, stopping his fist less than an inch from the kid's nose.

JACK
This is real. Not something to look cool. Do every movement knowing that you are being attacked. Next time, we will be ready. Now, again.

They spar again, this time with renewed focus.

LATER - DAY

Snow drifts into the entryway from the courtyard. Karel and another kid play guitars and thrash their heads, while a girl with pink dredlocks dances. Beer bottles have started to pile up around them.

A pounding on the street door, and it flies open. The police are back. The kids hold up their hands.

LATER - NIGHT

The gate is on the ground, the hinges cut and the frame pulled from the wall.
Anarchists sit on the stairs, holding bats, sticks, and flashlights. Some are in the courtyard. They are on alert.

JIRI
(in Czech)
The fascist police, and their friends the skinheads may force us out before the bank opens, but this is our home.

JACK
Put out those lights. Get ready.

The anarchists disappear into the dark.

LATER - NIGHT

The street door creaks open. Five skinheads come in, quietly. One reaches down and picks up a loose cobblestone. One opens the blue door and Jiri and Jack come out at them.

The skinheads are surrounded.

Someone puts on blaring punk music, and shouts of "skinheady" and "fascisti" punctuate the fighting.

The skinheads make their way back down the stairs, noses bloodied and eyes blackened. More anarchists come at them from the courtyard. Jack gives one a kick that makes him fall and hit his head on the broken gate.

The Skinhead Boy that attacked Ivan tries to help his fallen comrade up, but the anarchists pummel them.

JACK
Let him go!

Reluctantly, everyone backs off and the skinheads limp away.

LATER - NIGHT

Besnik plays a soulful violin, as Jack, Sara, and the others pass a bottle. Snow catches the moonlight in the courtyard.

Karel fingers his guitar.

KAREL
Can you play anything a little more exciting than that gypsy stuff?

SARA
I like it.

KAREL
You Americans. We have a saying:
(in Czech)
The only thing stranger than a foreigner is a gypsy.

SARA
What do you mean by that?

KAREL
I just want some good punk music!

The other anarchists shout in agreement.

BESNIK
So, get up here!

Karel stands beside him, and Besnik begins strumming his violin like a guitar.

LATER - NIGHT

It's still and quiet. The street door opens, and the Skinhead Boy backs into the entryway, dragging a body.

He lays it beside the broken gate. It's Besnik, unconscious or worse. Blood shines in matted hair on his forehead.

The Skinhead Boy pulls out a gun, and hides around the corner in the courtyard.
Jack and Sara come down the stairs.

JACK
Wait, I have to piss.

SARA
You drunk.

JACK
Yup.

She crosses her arms, and notices Besnik on the ground.

Jack unbuttons his pants as he walks.

Sara bends down, touching Besnik's forehead.

SARA
Jack. Oh no.

When Jack turns to see what's wrong, Skinhead Boy steps out.

SKINHEAD BOY
(in Czech)
Death to gypsies and foreigners.

Jack looks down the barrel of the gun.

Gunfire. Blackness.

Sara screams.

Oscar Trends

2008-02-28T13:45:00.003-06:00

Stumbled on this site today:
http://www.filmsite.org/oscars.html

A fascinating breakdown of the nominations and winners for the major awards. Looks like your best chance of getting nominated for a Best Actress award is to play a mute hooker with one leg.

Most of the films that have won Best Picture have been adaptations.

Cool stuff.

Sex Toys!

2008-02-18T00:54:00.001-06:00

Many people, even in the state of Texas, may not have realized that sex toys were illegal to sell in this state. Sure, they were sold at stores like Condom Sense, but technically they were presented as "novelties" or "educational" or (my personal favorite) cake toppers.

It was legal to own them, but owning more than 6 automatically put you in violation of the law. Apparently no one buys that many for their own use, so if you have 7 then you must be intending to promote their use and sale.

However, this law has now been overturned.

So we can buy and sell Dildos, Vibrators, Butt Plugs and more, with no fear of prosecution.

Coming Soon to a Theater...or not

2008-01-30T23:10:00.001-06:00

Titanic: Two the Surface

Goonies of the Carribean

Brokeback to the Future

Sleepless in Seattle: The Horror Movie

The Shining: A Romantic Comedy

Depression and Creativity

2008-01-28T20:03:00.000-06:00

The death of Heath Ledger, whether or not it's actually attributable in any way to his depression, sparked a few conversations about the connection between creativity and depression.

This is a subject I've given a lot of thought to, because for most of my life I've based a large portion of my identity on being a poet - and poets are so frequently associated with this romanticized view of depression.

Does an artist need to suffer? Do they need it in order to have the material to produce art? To have the impetus? The insight?

Does being mentally ill provide an advantage to an artist? Does it allow them to step outside normal boundaries and access greater creativity? Does it inspire them? Drive them?

Over the years, I've had different answers to these questions for myself. I do think that it's hard to produce art if your life has always been easy, if your challenges have been small and easily overcome, if you've lived inside the "norm" comfortably.

In terms of suffering due to external causes (as opposed to mental illness, there's a saying that it's impossible to create art when you're starving, or the idea that art is a luxury... yet I've witnessed some of the most inspired work from people in duress, people on the edge.

I'm reminded of a singer I saw on the streets of Prague when I was homeless. I was begging for spare change in one of the main squares, it was early winter, and the first real snow had fallen. A pale, thin woman in a cheap quilted coat stood near one of the churches, a man beside her with a little tape player. He set the player down, pushed play and the tinny sound barely reached a few feet... and then she began to sing. Not simply sing, but reach up to heaven with her voice, the purest and most passionate soprano I have ever heard. It was simply transcendent.

A few months later, in the early spring - I saw the woman again. She had a better coat, more color in her cheeks, and the weather was turning warmer - and her voice, though still accomplished and beautiful, lacked that extra dimension.

On the other hand, being too far outside society for too long is more often a disadvantage - "outsider art" has it's own appellation because it's simply not as accomplished as other forms. Being pushed to extremes is more often a distraction, or can wear down an artist until they haven't the energy to produce anything.

And what about mental illness?

This article mentions the "creative fire," and associates mild mania (specifically with bipolar disorder) with creative intensity - but is that an accurate association? the specific characteristics they describe are, indeed, also components of what is sometimes called the "creative trance" which many artists enter when they create. A hyper-sensitivity to stimuli, especially emotional stimuli; lowered inhibitions; and the tendency to become intensely focused while working. I find that those are actually part of the reason I sometimes avoid writing - especially the absorption. When I get into a project I have to allow things to effect me more deeply, to drop my inhibitions, and I become intensely absorbed...and it can interfere with my ability to function. During my most creative periods I have trouble keeping a job, embarrassed myself and done damage to professional and personal relationships by simply saying too much because I lose my sense of what's socially appropriate, and I had difficulty relating to others in a rational manner. So yes, I would agree that there is some level of social dysfunction associated with intense creativity... but is it an advantage, and is it necessary?

Most people who have bipolar disorder or major depression do not become great artists - so it's not as though these illnesses automatically will make you a genius.

An article on the APA website suggests that part of the connection may be self-reflection. Both creative persons and people with depression exhibit a higher degree of introspection than average. So it may be that the conditions which encourage and develop creativity also tend to encourage the development of depression or manic-depression.

Another factor, as mentioned here, is that creativity can be stifled. It's dismissed, or put down, or set aside for "real" problems. And that stifling of potential can lead to depression. Another article discusses this in a more complex manner, and even suggests that some of the characteristics of creativity can be mistaken for mania.

Mary Rocamora, who counsels gifted people, and heads The Rocamora School in Los Angeles school, which provides awareness training classes for gifted and talented adults, says those "who are passionately engaged with their talent but are constantly separated from the creative experience by relentless self-criticism, self-doubt, and feelings of inferiority often suffer from depression and the periodic shutting down of their spontaneous creative impulses. The drive to express their inner creativity is heightened in many gifted individuals, and when the drive to create meets the wall of shame, it implodes into numbness, rage, depression, and hopelessness." She also notes that it is well known among researchers of the gifted, talented and creative that these individuals "exhibit greater intensity and increased levels of emotional, imaginational, intellectual, sensual and psychomotor excitability, and that this is a normal pattern of development." Dr. Linda Silverman, Director of the Institute for the Study of Advanced Development in Denver, has also cautioned that this higher level of excitability and intensity may be perceived and misdiagnosed as manic depression.

But the article I found most helpful was this one: An interview with a doctor who did an empirical study on creativity and mental illness, and so is speaking from facts rather than supposition. In his study, around 70% of the writers had depression, which is just massive. However, he noted that during a depressive or manic phase, an individual is not motivated or organized enough to actually create. It is only after they emerge from that state that they are able to use those experiences as fuel. He addresses the fear that some have of medication stifling their creativity with examples, and states that creative people are more functional and more able to actually produce work while their illness is under control. He also notes that besides major Depression and Bipolar disorder, schizophrenia has a link to creativity - but once again, not when it is out of control.

Which makes me optimistic.

Does an artists need to suffer? I would say that yes, they do - they need it as fuel. But who, in their life, has never suffered? And that suffering, like branches gathered in the woods during a storm, is only useful to light the creative fires once it has cured and dried, after the rain is gone.

Movie Character Careers

2008-01-21T15:44:00.000-06:00

I've noticed that there are certain professions or callings that are over-represented in film. For example - there are far more architects in the movies, as a percentage, than there are in real life.

This is just a list, for my own benefit - because I know that I am attracted more to certain of these as well, and it would be helpful to consider more characters who work in other areas.

Actors/Actresses
Directors, Producers
Agents (for actors, musicians, writers)
Architects
Publishers
Journalists and Writers (especially struggling poets and novelists)
Musicians
Teachers
Secret Agents/Spies
Assassins/Hit Men/Vampire or Monster Hunters/Bounty Hunters
Waitresses
Kings, Knights
Icy or Evil Queens, Lonely Princesses
High School Students
Psychologists/Psychiatrists (usually supporting)
Doctors
Politicians
Bartenders (usually minor characters)
Experimental Scientists
Damaged Veterans
Anthropologists
Scholars/Criminologists
Police Officers/Guards
TV or Radio Talk Show Hosts
CEOs/Vice Presidents of multi-billion dollar companies
Lawyers/Heads of Law Firms
Prostitutes
Drug Dealers

Now, here are some links about careers and statistics:
Bureau of Labor Statistics
here's a list of occupations from the same source
and here is a .pdf of occupational shares
Fastsest Growing Jobs AZ
(A surprising number of medical professions there - but nicely specific ones, nto just your usual surgeon or GP)
America's Most Admired Professions - from Forbes
Interestingly actors are among the least prestigious/admired though not as low as business executives, stockbrokers and real estate agents. Many of the careers in my list are among the top: Firefighter, Doctor, Nurse, Scientist, Teacher are the top 5. Celebrities, Lawyers, and Accountants have fallen in popularity, while Military Officers and Farmers have risen.

EDIT: One more - I e-mailed the BLS and asked where to find a list of the most common occupation across all fields - and they pointed me here. They are downloadable excel files, and the the first link, 'National Cross-Industry Estimates' is the one I wanted. Column D lists total employment, so you just have to sort by that column.

Pretty cool stuff.

Science Fiction is Alive and Kicking

2008-01-17T13:25:00.001-06:00

Sometimes a film writer pens something dumb enough it makes me wanna smack 'em. This article in EW is one of those.

I do agree, there are a lot of science fiction movies that seem to lack an original take on the future, that seem to dig up the same old ideas that have been fueling the genre since the '40s, that are re-makes and adaptations... of course, that is true for most of the movies being made today, regardless of genre. A lack of originality in this season's blockbusters is only evidence of the cowardice of studios and producers, of the general trend for big money to play things safe and forget that what made Movie X a hit wasn't that it had such and such special effect, or a particular concept - but that it was a great story with engaging characters told in a fresh yet engaging manner.

Of course, it's clear that Mark Harris is not a huge fan of the genre, or he never would have called it sci-fi, which is pronounced "skiffy" by the fans, and considered a sneering and marginalizing abbreviation. The correct term is "SF." At least, that's what my friends in the 90's said when I was in a writer's group with some serious aficionados and players in the field (including the then editor of F& SF.) I admit that my own leanings are more toward horror and fantasy, in particular magical realism along the lines of John Crowley - but I am familiar with Science Fiction enough to know the conventions of the genre.

The author points to 2001 as re-defining the genre, as if a movie of that caliber gets made more than once in a generation - but also ignoring the fact that there have been genre-definers made since then, in particular the Matrix Trilogy.

Yes, it's been a while since AI, ExistenZ, and Dark City. But what about V for Vendetta? Not good enough? Serenity and Children of Men are among the best SF films ever made. And before you dismiss those because one was based on a TV series (but a recent one) and the other on a book (though loosely) note that the author of the article lists 3:10 to Yuma and No Country as evidence of great and fresh things happening in the Western genre.

How about something completely original? Take a look at Paprika, a great piece of anime. If you want interesting and unique ideas about the future, anime is a good place to look. Then there's Jathia’s Wager, a fascinating concept that seems to be a sort of choose your own adventure for the digital age. I am sure there are also original ideas being made cheaply and shown online for free, as fans of SF tend to be drawn to new technologies.

Mr. Harris also makes the mistake of limiting SF to films depicting the future. Some consider Donnie Darko an SF film. Then there's Eternal Sunshine, which, since the plot relies on a new technology is indisputably science fiction... and how about The Prestige? Not ground-breaking, but a decent movie certainly, and despite being set in the past, again, the centrality if science to the plot makes it SF.

I do agree, that more originality is needed. That new ideas that derive from someplace besides old books, TV shows and movies are essential not only to science fiction, but to film in general. I just think that those things are out there - and as DVDs and the internet continue to erode the success of the 80's style blockbuster, film companies will seek them out - just as they had to when television threatened the movie business.

Puppy Needs Home

2008-01-10T18:50:00.000-06:00

A stray puppy was running around the neighborhood for a couple of days. I grabbed her Tuesday when she was following an electrician down the street. None of the neighbors claim her.

She's a German Shepherd, very friendly and playful. Gets along with people and other dogs. About 8-10 weeks, and around 18 pounds so she'll get big - wouldn't be surprised if she got to be 100 lbs.

She doesn't know her boundaries yet, and while she is starting to get the idea of it, definitely isn't housebroken. She will come when called (usually), and understands no (though she'll probably still try again) and is already learning "sit." She needs someone patient but firm and consistent, and this will be one incredible dog. I was sooooo tempted to keep her, but can't really do that right now.

This little girl needs a home.

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T19:34:00.001-06:00

216 Years

2007-12-18T09:53:00.000-06:00

Do you know your rights? Have you ever actually read the Bill of Rights? How familiar are you with those first ten amendments to the constitution?

Today is the 216th anniversary of its passage.
Read it, and know your rights.

Bill of Rights

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment II

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment III

No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

Amendment VII

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

Taking a Moment to Weigh in on the Strike

2007-11-07T09:52:00.001-06:00

I've seen the devaluation of the writer.

I've seen it happen as a copywriter. There are sites where a person can pick up a page of web content for a penny. Yes, it's generic and the same content is being sold to 50 or 100 people, but writers in India crank out pages of content on multiple subjects and people buy it for their websites and customize it (or not.) Most of that content gets thrown on pages whose only purpose is to display Google ads, and is never meant to be read - and the quality reflects this.

A step above in pay scale and quality are the college students. Desperate for a little cash and recognition, they write web content on the cheap, cranking out pages for $25 or less - no matter how long it took them to write it. It might even be decent work. It might even be relevant. It's rarely good from the standpoint of a marketer. That is, it might be well-written and interesting, but it doesn't get picked up by the search engines and it doesn't lead to sales. Good copy is not well-written. Good copy is effective.

As a result of the flood of cheap writers available on the internet, I saw the pay scale for professionals drop by nearly 50% over 5 years. And the hostility of those hiring professionals increase by about the same percentage - the feeling that they were being "ripped off" and the expectation for the results to blow them away in order to justify the extra expense.

Copywriters are now largely disposable. Picked up for a little work here and there, their work tinkered with after they hand it over - and then they are blamed for the lack of success in driving sales. They are not, largely, respected as knowledgeable and skilled professionals with a craft, and they are often blamed for failures that are not their fault wile the praise for success usually goes largely to the art department - the creative director and the design team. Sounds a bit like screenwriters.

The Writer's Guild is fighting to ensure that writers don't become a disposable commodity in the movie industry in the near future.

I'm not sure, honestly, that screenwriters have ever had a lot of respect, save the writer-directer auters. I think that producers resent them. A movie needs a writer to begin. (There are exceptions, but they are few.) It's something that many people think they could do themselves "if they had time."

Writers are already brought on board and thrown away with more casualness than any other key component of the filmmaking process. There is, largely, no concept that a writer's vision need be respected, or that it is important to the final product. Vision is a director's business to purvey.

I have a theory that the reason for this is because writers themselves have not demanded respect. We tend to be insecure, solitary, and so desperately happy that someone likes our stuff that we undersell ourselves. Yes, there are professionals who understand their worth, but there is also a vast flood of college students and dreamers who send their work to Hollywood every day. Like the copywriters, this flood of people willing to take the minimum, who may also lack and understanding of the commercial side of the process, devalues the professionals and makes their job harder.

I suppose actors may suffer this, but actors are more visible. Re-cast a role in the middle of a film and it's obvious. Hire a new writer - well, that's invisible, at least it seems to be.

The internet only exacerbates this problem.

Writers are the most invisible part of the process. They are a dime a dozen. They are readily available. And now, in the age of digital filmmaking and online downloads - it's an arena where production companies may feel like they can streamline. They are already scared by the ease with which their work may be illegally downloaded and in fear are trying to divide their profits as little as possible.

But insistence on recognition and fair payment for use of previous work or creation of new work in the "new media," is essential if anyone is going to be able to be a professional writer. Digital downloads and internet broadcasts are going to make up a larger and larger part of all movie and TV profits in the future. As people move away from the theaters with their overpriced popcorn and into their home theaters, as they integrate their home entertainment systems and connect large screen TVs to their computers - there is going to be little distinction between DVDs and downloads, between TV broadcasts and online replays.

What the industry at large fails to recognize is that undervaluing writers is to their own detriment. Talent will seek other avenues of expression. You will be able to get a page of screenwriting for a penny, but it might not actually make any sense. Or for $25, and it might be eloquent and lovely - but noncommercial.

Writers need to insist that they are included, now. Or there will be no way they can ever make a living as screenwriters.

Oh - and in my personal opinion - writers need to be bigger divas, too. As a woman, I've learned that if I allow others to treat me as disposable, as unimportant, then they will. But if I refuse to waste my time on anyone who does not treat me as a star, then more people than you would have ever imagined will recognize me as an outstanding individual worthy of respect. This doesn't mean being a bitch. It does mean being willing to promote yourself, being in the public eye, and never apologizing for your work or allowing others to take credit for your vision. (And yes, it also means not getting in bed with the first person who praises you, but holding out for an offer with a little more quality.)

2007-10-06T18:35:00.000-06:00

Depressed.
Eating disorders suck.
I know more about exercise, nutrition, and the body than most of my clients, even the athletes, but I can't seem to get my own house in order.

I've gained 15 pounds in three months. Can't seem to shake myself out of this binge cycle this time, and I know it's because I have emotional issues that I haven't been able to deal with. (Overwhelming problems with my father & brother - and with the guy I was dating...) I had hoped that getting enough rest would be the key to getting a handle on this, but it's not enough.

Don't think I'll be able to conquer this on my own, but am not comfortable with the religious tone of Overeaters Anonymous (and other 12-step groups), especially here, where people tend to not understand the concept of non-denominational.

Something Good

2007-09-27T15:51:00.001-06:00

I got my baby back.

I just realized I never posted here about what happened with my doggie. It was hard for me to talk about... He started mutilating the paw that needed to be amputated, and it became infected - and I didn't have the money to do it. (A minimum of $1200)... The vet said the limb had to be amputated right away, or he had to be put down. This was about two months ago.

I contacted every rescue organization in the area, and found one that could take him and give him the operation - but I had to give him up.

Today, my sister and a friend went and adopted the dog I had to give up - to give him back to me. He's adjusted just fine to being a tripod, and is happy to be home.

I'll have new pics of him soon!

2007-09-13T21:33:00.000-06:00

In Mystery Man's blog, he recently reviewed the script for Hitman - a screenplay based on a popular video game.

I don't know the video game, and have always been more into role playing games (yes, I play WOW) than shooters - but I have some words of advice for the author of Hitman as he works on rewrites (hopefully, he still is): go see Shoot 'em Up.

Shoot 'em Up is just what the title says it is. It is shooting. Lots of it. Sometimes funny. Sometimes outrageous. The lead character is never well defined, his story is never explained. He has a handful of characteristics which remain consistent and are enough to drive him. The female lead is introduced when the protag (and I use that term a bit loosely) needs her.

He stumbles into the plot, but is thrown deep into it when he makes a choice - a very simple and clear choice. She is at first unwilling to go along, but is forced to when the bad guys catch up.

There's a convoluted story that doesn't matter much, and it's a pretty outrageous one - but it doesn't matter.

It moves non-stop. It has genre gags. It has a completely absurd and wonderful sex scene. But mostly, it's non-stop action. More fun than Crank was, which is similar. The protag is more over-the-top in his skills. The story bigger, and more absurd.

It felt like a shooter game.

And MOST of the movie would not have looked like much on the page, because it was a lot of choreography. But man, there were some great moments with the fight choreography.

It doesn't try to be important, or impressive. It doesn't try to explore the implications of anything. Plot and character really only exist enough to serve the action. But what is there, is great stuff.

And the fact that the antag speculates about the protag's life story, as the audience must - but not one word of his speculation is ever confirmed - is great because anything that is confirmed would just seem cheesy and wrong. We don't really care why or how he became a super-shooter. We just want to see him shoot.

And we want him to win.

And did I mention it's fun? He shoots people while delivering a baby. He kills people with carrots.

But then, one of my favorite films of all time is Buckaroo Banzai, so I appreciate absurdity.

Exposition

2007-09-04T23:37:00.000-06:00

I watched "The Sting" last night, and was interested in how well they integrated information into the story. They had a lot to communicate, a whole world and it's rules to set up (the world of the "big con") and they did it without any noticeable exposition dumps.

I'm reading the screenplay now, and will give some specific examples soon.

Now that's over with

2007-09-03T18:16:00.000-06:00

Well, now that I have one less complication in my life, and am highly unlikely to be pursuing a relationship again anytime soon - I can dispense with the mental distraction and get my head back on track with my writing.

Look forward to some posts this week.

tarot

2007-08-11T21:56:00.001-06:00

Been dealing with some stuff.
It's worked itself out, and I should be back to writing more soon.

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

wonderful bit of randomness

2007-07-24T09:48:00.000-06:00

Thriller re-enacted in a Phillipine prison:
http://www.ectomo.com/?p=361

what's goin on

2007-07-18T10:04:00.000-06:00

New job and a new relationship - doesn't leave much time for writing!
I'll settle into a new routine soon, but in the meantime, I'm just not online much

We Are Powerful Beyond Measure

2007-07-11T20:54:00.001-06:00

Because sometimes I need a reminder...

"Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'who am I to be so brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are we not to be?

You are a child of God: Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.

It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

~Marianne Williamson

1000 Films

2007-07-04T20:39:00.000-06:00

The Guardian has published a list of 1000 films that "best sum up the dazzling achievement and variety of the movies." It's a good list, because it is varied. It's clear that they were trying to find films to represent just about every type, tone, and style - as well as the "greats."

While there may be some I would have chosen differently (from Roeg's films, I'd have chosen Performance rather than Don't Look Now, and from Luhrman I'd have gone with Strictly Ballroom rather than Romeo + Juliet) - and a few missing that I would have included (Cat People, Gods and Monsters, Bound, Secretary) - there were enough of movies I was delighted to unexpectedly find on the list such as Buckaroo Banzai, Repo Man, Robocop, and Hot Fuzz (and two Greenaway films) that I'm generally impressed by it.

After going over the whole list, and taking a tally, I've watched just under 400 of them. Probably more, but since most of the westerns I would have watched with my dad when I was a kid, and many of the European films I watched when I was in grad school and was, erm, "altered" - I wasn't certain which I'd seen. I'm sure there's another dozen or more that I'd remember as soon as I started watching them.

Enjoy!

More Good Stuff

2007-06-27T18:33:00.000-06:00

Got the job at Massage Envy. Start next week. Scheduled for lots of hours - we'll see whether I'm actually booked for most of them.
(Now I just need money to pay my insurance. It's current, but only 'till the 5th.)

And here are some new pictures of Rebound.

In the first pic, he was a little uncertain. I haven't taken pictures in a while.

a good day

2007-06-26T00:19:00.001-06:00

This was a good day.

Had an interview with Massage Envy that went well. I'm going back Wednesday for my practical, but I pretty much have the job. Pay per massage is a little low, but they are very busy so I'm sure to stay booked up.

And then I had a brief visit with someone I always enjoy seeing... and he gave me good reason to think that he's interested in spending more time together.

a good thing

2007-06-22T00:06:00.000-06:00

I had a massage gig today. Moderate pay, just a few hours, with a company that does corporate massage. There will be a few other gigs coming up, and potential to become a lead or manager... Not enough to get by, but enough to buy groceries.

It was four hours, hard work. (Chair massage is much harder on the therapist than working on someone who is laying down.) I did about a dozen brief massages. And I loved it.

Y'know what really rocks about being a massage therapist?
People are happy to see you.
They look forward to it.
They smile about it.
They are grateful for it.
They thank you, and bless you.
I get all kinds of warm fuzzies from making people feel better, too.

Man Who Fell to Earth

2007-06-20T17:37:00.000-06:00

A little while ago, I bought a copy of the Man Who Fell to Earth on eBay. Just as I was wondering where it was, I got an e-mail promising that it had been shipped today priority mail. Seems it fell through the cracks.

It's been ages since I've seen it, so I will wait to discuss it at length until I have the screenplay (written by the same man who wrote Croupier, The Last Samurai, and Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence). I saw it when I was about 13 or 14 (my parents didn't realize how much sex was in it) - and some of it went over my head, but as an adolescent I certainly could relate to the sense of loneliness and isolation that he felt, and still consider this the central theme of the movie. In fact, the themes of being in the wrong circumstances, of having to pretend to fit in, of feeling isolated - these recur in other ways in some of Roeg's films.

At any rate, I'm looking forward to taking a look at the screenplay... now I just need to get a copy of the movie... preferably the uncut version... (but first I need to get a job. Rapidly running out of money and trying hard not to stress.)

Three Colors

2007-06-17T23:21:00.000-06:00

I recently watched each of the three films in Kieslowski's Three Colors trilogy. I've been meaning to write about them, but haven't been able to focus my thoughts. (I get like that when I'm stressed. Which is why I never get much writing done when I'm unemployed, despite having so much time. Too worried about running out of money.)

At any rate - I'm sitting down to make my attempt.

Usually, before I write about a film, I read up on it and listen to the commentary. I didn't listen to the commentary on these, because I wanted to simply experience them - all three - as a whole. Eventually I'll buy them and listen to all the commentaries, but for now I'm just going on my own impressions. I have read a little about them, did before watching them. I'd originally heard of them through the commentary on Heaven, which was written by Kieslowski as part of another trilogy, but not made until after his death. It was directed by Twyker, and I found it after watching Twyker's The Princess and the Warrior, which was a wonderful portrayal of the differences in the way men and women communicate and relate to others. I watched Heaven, knowing nothing about its history, which was only alluded to briefly in the commentary.

So I looked up the Three Colors, and found that many people believe Blue is among the most finely crafted, perfect films ever made. When approaching movies these days, I try to learn very little about them in advance. I find that I am more likely to enjoy them if I go in without many expectations of what they should be... and sometimes I end up disliking a film that others I respect are saying is brilliant.

Well, in this case I am in accordance with those who think that Three Colors are brilliant.

I am glad I decided to watch all three films within a few days of each other. Though the stories are not a trilogy in the sense of being three parts of the same story with the same characters, no "part II & III" here, they are thematically related, and there is a definite emotional and spiritual progression across all three.

The theme of Red, the third film, is in fact the theme of all three - though it approaches it more directly: the human need for connection.

Each film uses color thematically, though Kieslowski employs it in different ways in each.

In Blue, it represents her grief. Some people have said it represents her moments of peace, but I think that's wrong. It's her most intense moments of feeling, when she immerses herself in the grief. And in some of those moments she finds a kind of peace. The color is tied to the memories and feelings she's trying to cast away. Ultimately, she's unable to disconnect herself, and it's only through accepting her connections, and through immersing herself in memories that she is able to move forward. The completion of her husband's final work, a piece about unification, is the act by which she
a) remembers her husband on a personal level
b) memorializes him in the public sphere
c) channels her emotions into a creative work
d) uses her connection and memory to move forward into the future and establish herself as her own person

Blue is almost meditative. Powerful and intense, the protagonist spends so much time alone that there is very little dialogue, and the music and the images (including Binoche's superbly subtle acting) tell the story.

Grief is difficult to portray. It can become melodrama so easily. This film, however, perfectly captured something quite close to my own experience of it. Even for those who do not go to such extremes to leave their old life behind, you do feel very much alone. You feel like your grief separates you from the world, from everyone around you (ironic, since it's a universal experience - the loss of loved ones.)

I must confess - as much as I was appreciative of the film and recognize its genius (a word I don't use casually), as much as I love the poetry of its images and deftness of the acting... I did not love Blue. I found it too difficult to watch, too unnerving, too uncomfortable. All of which simply underscore the brilliance, but it was simply too close to home for me.

One of the three screenplays I'm working on now centers around a young widow who is afraid of being touched and who must decide whether to memorialize her husband's legacy as an artist, or to let it go and move on with her life. And it does so, because that is my own story. My own process. And it's one which still continues and is still quite sharp and painful (even after ten years.) So, no - I was not able to really enjoy Blue as much as it deserved.

White uses the thematic color to represent an man's idealized vision of his wife. She is blonde and pale, and he has a bust which reminds him of her white skin. He remembers, over and over, her in her wedding dress. It's a little harder to spot the use of color in white. It doesn't saturate the way that Blue and Red do, but it's still a frequent presence.

Of the three, White has the most external story. It's funny - and makes light of dark subjects. The protagonist spends the film trying to get back home, make himself a "better" man, and re-capture the love of his cruel but beautiful wife. If this were an American film, we'd spend the movie psychoanalyzing why he would want to win back such a bitch, but Kieslowski never bothers to ask - because the answer is obvious. What man doesn't want the love of a beautiful woman? To impress her with his success and make her belong to him?

Her cruelty and capriciousness is no different from the cruelty of the world itself. She is a force of nature, an ideal which he strives for. She doesn't ever become quite real, and this is exactly how she is meant to be.

Whereas the protagonist in Blue goes to great lengths to run away from her connection with others, the protagonist in White goes to great (even absurd) lengths to assert his connection to one specific other...but his path to her ends up creating and strengthening his connections to the rest of the people in his life.

In Red, there's no mistaking the presence of the color. It's there in almost every shot, sometimes a spot of color, an accent, and often in great washes of red that take up most of the screen.

I found myself puzzling over the specific thematic correlation. In the other films, the titular color was used in very specific ways, to represent the emotion at the core of the story. In Red, it's so pervasive, I wasn't able to find any common thread. But by the end of the movie, I realized that was precisely the point.

Red is about connections. Chance, or purposeful. The ways that we brush up against one another, and suddenly find ourselves looking into another person's eyes and really seeing them, listening to another person's words and really hearing them. It's almost a shock when it happens, and yet it has a pleasant warmth - much like the color red.

Of the three, though I can recognize Blue as more finely crafted, I personally enjoyed Red the most. It is a story driven by chance. The characters seem buffeted about by fate or some other mysterious force. They do not make their most meaningful connections by choice... but it is by their choices that they are taken to them, and by choice that they recognize and nurture them.

All three films employ chance in a way that could easily ruin a story in lesser hands. Coincidence is tricky. It usually feels too convenient, too pat. It feels forced. Three Colors, however, are a study of what happens to people in the face of the random (or is it) whims of fate. It is through random chance that we find our most meaningful moments. The protagonist in Red seems to embrace this fully, and in the end is led to the possibility of love.

I could go on more about the symbolism in this last film... the seven puppies, the seven stones, the seven survivors. Several specific instances of chance, the similarity to Amelie... but I just noticed it's 3:55am. I really ought to go to bed.

Perhaps I'll further amend this in the future, but not likely.

One more word, though... I found Red to be one of the most romantic movies I've ever seen, and I'm such a sucker for that.

POV Character

2007-06-13T22:18:00.000-06:00

I've recently been hearing and reading about the point of view character in screenplays. Now, my first assumption was that they meant protagonist. But no, the POV character is rarely the protagonist - it's the character who is telling the story, the one who wrote the memoir, or who represents the writer's perspective.

I'm having a little trouble getting my mind around how these characters function and how to develop them.

Joss Whedon refers to Serenity as "Mal's story as told by River." It's River's perspective on Mal and the other characters on the ship. Now, having pointed that out, I can see it (kinda) but I certainly didn't get that the first two times I watched the movie.

In Screenwriting is Storytelling by Kate Wright, she describes the POV character thusly:

...a character within the story who represents the writer's own point-of-view throughout the story and offers an understanding of what the story is about. The point-of-view character is crucial to the movie-making process because in order to understand the story as a movie on-screen, the audience must understand the transformation of the main character. If there is no point-of-view character who helps the audience define this transformation, the audience does not have a dramatic anchor for the story on-screen and consequently, does not know how to follow the inner emotional story.

She states that Titanic is from Rose's POV, The Fugitive uses the investigative team as a kind of Greek Chorus so they are the POV "character" along with Gerard. In Tootsie, it's Julie.

I don't know, I guess I always thought of the camera as the point of view, which guides the audience through the inner emotional as well as the outer story.

OK, I'm going to pick some movies and consider this.
Looking up on my wall at the movie posters -

Moulin Rouge! is Satine's story from Christian's POV.

Belle et la Bete - is it the Beast's story as told by Beauty? or vice verse? (I'm leaning toward the former)

Black Snake Moan - again, is it Rae's story as told by Lazarus, or vice verse? Or is it the Reverend telling the story about both of them?

Amelie - clearly Amelie' story, that's easy... and the fragile painter is clearly the POV character. He is used quite cleverly, his pointillist painting becoming more complete as the story comes together - also a nice reflection of the photo collection of the love interest - people who try to understand themselves by obsessing on images of strangers (as Amelie herself is.)

Blade Runner - Deckard's story... as told by Rachel? by the other detective? by Roy Batty? In a way, it could even be seen as Roy's story as told by Deckard. If we consider the POV character as expressing the writer's perspective on the story, then Roy seems to encompass this the best, though my instinct leans more toward the Olmos character even though his role is small.

Dead Again - Roman/Mike is definitely the protagonist. Grey Baker seems the POV character for Roman/Margaret storyline, but I have no idea who would be the POV for the present story. Pete?

Yeah, I'm nowhere near ready to use this device consciously.

the collaborative process: sharing a vision

2007-06-09T23:07:00.000-06:00

Well, after several e-mails back and forth with my writing partner, I was beginning to be frustrated with his lack of excitement about any of my (obviously, of course) brilliant ideas. I really loved making each of the three main characters a different example of how selfishness leads to loneliness. I had several wonderful visuals.

He wasn't seeing the story, so I outlined how each of the characters would relate to one another - so that the story would come out of that. He finally saw the story but said that it seemed like a RomCom without the com.

Well, yeah. That would be a romance. And horror films (not slasher movies) often have a strong romantic element.

He's not liking this, or my description of the protagonist as a hedonist driven by her passions - he says that indie films need something "extreme" and that violence, not sex is what tends to appeal to people.

It's with this comment that I realize the source of the problem.
He had said early on that he wanted something that could be the director's and writer's calling card. So I was thinking of the auteurs I love... Greenaway, Kieslowski, Vadim. Visual, sensual stories about the human soul and the intersections of pain and love.

He was thinking of Tarantino, Rodriguez, and Roth.

Doh!

So what do you do when your writing partner has such a vastly different vision than you? In this case, he's also the man with the production company and the potential to make this script into a film... so what I do is change my perspective and do my best to take up his vision. I can do violence.

I'll save my artsy-fartsy ideas for my own screenplays.

off topic: Helping them to Death

2007-06-07T14:48:00.000-06:00

I used to favor aid to poor nations. "Feed the World" sure seems like a good idea, and wealthy nations have the resources to make it happen...

But a friend told me exactly how sending food aid to South America is harmful, (from the perspective of a special forces officer who has been in the trenches - both giving aid and fighting the drug war.)

In South America, this is what happens:

We subsidize our farmers to grow more corn and grain than they can sell, and buy it off them. Most of this subsidized grain becomes food aid. The corn gets shipped to a country like Colombia.

In Colombia, we encourage farmers to grow cash crops other than cocaine and marijuana... one of the main ones used to be corn. But now the market is flooded with corn that's sold for less than it costs to produce. The local farmers can't compete. They can't even buy what they need to keep their farm running. They turn to growing the only thing in the country that's profitable.

And those crops remain profitable in no small part because the war on drugs keeps prices high.

Now, I've read an interview with a Kenyan economist that describes similar effects in Africa.

Here's the article:
For God's Sake, Please Stop the Aid

Keeping them dependent on aid is crippling their ability to become strong, independent, modern nations.

(For the record, I personally favor micro-loans to individuals. The weaver, or potter, who can sell their wares on the international market. Help them develop a business, encourage trade, and make the loan in a reasonable, small amount so that it will be repayable.)

finding the spine

2007-06-06T23:55:00.000-06:00

I'm working on a collaboration, as part of a dare on Triggerstreet - and I was fortunate to be paired with a writer who owns a small production company in Spain, and wants to write this as a possible feature for himself to produce.

So far, we've been bouncing back and forth some very general ideas. There is a Japanese myth that I wanted to use as the basis for a screenplay, and which I had some notes, characters, images, scenes developed for... but that idea was an epic fantasy, hardly suitable for a small indie. So, using the same myth (heck no I'm not telling), we looked at setting it in modern-day southern Spain.

I had a trio of characters at the center of my other idea, and I kept those same basic character relationships, but found myself wanting them to be very different other than that. I found a characteristic for the protagonist which lent itself to a good arc, and that told me what I needed from the other two in order for them to push that arc... but I was still lacking something that would make the idea gel.

I was lacking a thematic spine - the idea behind the story, which connects all of the characters and shapes the direction they all go as they come into conflict.

And it just came to me. A single emotional thread which runs through each of the three central characters and motivates them, and defines them. As I did that, more details about the characters, their relationships, and some of the major plot points clicked into place.

Which, again, is so very much like writing a poem. In a poem I might not have characters - but I would have different images or phrases, and it's when I find the common emotional thread that they all come into clear relationship to one another, both in harmony and in contrast.

Ah, that is so satisfying.

Now, assuming my writing partner digs my ideas, we have the basis for a powerful screenplay.

the Decision - a very long poem

2007-06-04T20:45:00.001-06:00

My mother died from breast cancer one year ago. This is a poem I wrote not long afterward.

the Decision

How do you decide when?
How long is long enough?
When do you stop trying,
and let nature run its course?
For every step forward
she fell further back,
and we knew
the decision
was imminent.
The most difficult decision
anyone will ever have to make.

I'm being vague
and I know that's the death
of a poem, talking about
not showing.

Let me try
to give you a picture:

it started with wheezing,
as she stepped up the curb
to go into the hospital
to visit daddy,
who was lying attached to tubes
machines pumping
air into his lungs
food into his stomach
medicine into his veins
piss and shit into bags.
He was sedated
so he could "rest"
and tied down
so he wouldn't
unplug himself,
Swollen like
the balloons
in the Thanksgiving day parade
that he slept through.

We thought it was a cold.
I had a cough, too.
We were all stressed.

Two months later,
he was home,
barely able to stand
but still having to
wash the dishes
because she
was wheezing
worse.
He must have known,
really. I think he knew.

Diagnosis.
Treatment.
Hope.
Plans.

There I go, being vague again.

OK. Another picture.

She's showing me her bone scan.
She smiles.
She says she thought
all the bright spots
were cancer,
but it's only these.
Pointing out which
bright spots
are arthritis
and which
are cancer.

I know my mother.
This is her brave face.

It's in both lungs.
It's in the a remote site.
Metastasis.

But it's not until she says this:
"Stage IV"
that she cries.

Saying it, it sinks in.

We are alone,
a rare thing –
she always has visitors.

I hold her,
my hand on her head,
feeling her tangled bed-hair
(I'll have to brush it)
I pull her gown together
in back, so she won't
moon anyone coming by.

We are sitting beside each other
on the bed.
She can still sit,
though standing
makes her pulse crash.

We look at the flowers
set in the window.
The stuffed giraffe
her "adopted" daughter brought.

She tells me –
when she was in the support group
during chemo
before,
(nine years)
they wanted to have a separate group
for those with metastasis,
but she (my mother) insisted
that all of them
needed to hear
needed to know
needed to see
because it could be
any of them one day.

Stage IV
She knows, better than I do,
that this does not mean if,
but when.
Not better,
but how many months.
(average 16-24,
with better chances
if the disease is contained to
a single site,
which it was not.)

But there was
hope – it could me five years.
New drugs,
the one whose name
sounds like a barbarous word of evocation,
the one the doctor
said was a miracle drug:
Trastuzumab

So we made plans.
More
breakfasts on the front porch
dinner parties
walks in the park with the dogs

and that vacation to Cancun.
Asked my best friend
how many people
could stay in his timeshare.
Looked into the cost
of a flight.

Of course,
it would have to wait
'till the chemo was done.

Looked at scarves
for her head,
found a chocolate-colored
velvet one
I wanted to give her
for her birthday…
she would need it by then.

Then one morning
she couldn't breathe.

ICU.
Same as my dad.
But alert.
With the tubes,
and wires.
The whirr of machines,
the beeping of monitors.
Hooked up.

The nurses said,
"I'm so sorry,"
because they knew us,
knew her.
After all,
we'd spent a couple of months
here already.

ICU.
Do you know what it means
when they come and close
the doors to all the rooms
while you're visiting?
Peek out the blinds,
and watch them wheel
someone away,
face covered.

But see, she was alert.
And we still had hope.

Visitors. Laughter.
Careful questions,
how was my father's heath, really?
how were we doing, financially, really?
how were we holding up?
The answer to all three:
getting by.
You find a way,
because you just have to.

And she became frustrated,
wanting the tube to come out
so she could talk,
really talk,
to us.
As her hands swelled, and
her arms atrophied,
it became harder for her
to even write messages.

So much can be said with the raise an eyebrow.
and So much cannot.
She wanted the tube out so she could talk to us.
But even a minute without it,
and her oxygen levels
plummeted.
They discussed a trach,
but her heartbeat
had become unstable
(a rare complication
from the miracle drug)

I knew her. And I saw,
before anyone else.
She was starting to give up.

She stopped
doing her exercises,
her circulation
worsened,
her bright moments
lessened.

I love my mother,
but she was not a fighter…
well, not on her own behalf
(though plenty if it were
one of us)…

and she started to,
noticeably,
literally,
deteriorate.

Swelled up,
lymphedema
so bad,
you could touch her hand
and it would leak
clear lymphatic fluid
out of the pores.

A lung tube for the fluid,
draining pink and yellow
into a box.
Beside the bags of piss
and shit.

Her pain increased,
her lucidity faded,
it was not long before
she was sedated.

And I hadn't had a chance
to be alone with her again,
and ask her
what she wanted us to do
if we had to make
that decision.

I knew it would come,
and no one else had thought about it
yet.

I was afraid to ask,
afraid of putting dark(er)
thoughts in her mind.

And then the doctors suggested
she might not ever leave
the ICU.
It made my father angry.
It made my sister cry.
My brother hid his feelings.
But I knew already.

So I asked the hard questions.
Life insurance, the will, "options."

Daddy knew what I meant, and said
it was too soon…
but a week later, he knew
we might have to make that decision.
We signed the orders.
The first time around,
they had discussed it.
So I felt OK about
the DNR.
Comfort care.
Keep up the drugs,
and the machines,
but don't stop arrest.

She became fragile.
They couldn't even turn her,
her heartbeat
would become chaotic.
So her bedsores worsened,
skin splitting open beneath her.

I was glad she was sedated.

And nothing was making her better,
every day a little worse.
Every treatment a new complication.
And she had to be in pain,
somewhere deep in there,
under the medication.

She no longer
even fluttered her eyes
to the sound
of my voice.

They asked
how long we wanted
to continue treatment.

That was it.
The decision.
How long do you continue
chasing away thanatos,
and when do you let nature
take its course?

We told them not yet…

and she held on
for their 37th,

and then started
slipping away,

heart rate slowing
to almost nothing.

I was at work,
and was told
I needed to come.

It was time.

I delayed.
They called again.

I said, OK.
Go ahead.
I will be there soon.

They turned off the machines.
Stopped all drugs
but the lortab.

And when I arrived,
there was only a wisp
of life
left.

We felt like we should
be there, at her side,
when she passed,
but I was frightened
of how it might be,
the body's last gasp.

We went to lunch.
And she died while we were gone.
I think she chose it.

We returned,
and sat with her body,
in the room.
Her husband,
and all of her children,
including the "adopted" one.
We looked at her,
we made arrangements,
we remembered
and we laughed.

Until it was time to leave.

How do you decide when
to let someone you love
die? It's impossible,
and yet,
you find a way,
because you have to.

on the walls

2007-06-04T19:50:00.000-06:00

A little while ago, I snagged a full-size movie poster for Black Snake Moan. I liked the movie - but I love the poster. I put it up on the wall in my office, near my desk... and then decided I needed more.

So I started searching out the posters for some of my favorite films. Trouble is, some of the posters suck (Buckaroo Banzai) and some are expensive (Pillow Book), others nearly impossible to find (Manchurian Candidate). In some cases, I found alternate versions of the poster that I liked. But I now have lined one wall with movie posters and I'm quite happy with the ones I've ended up with.

This is what is across my wall - with the second poster directly over my monitor. (Most of them are 27x41, a couple are slightly smaller. Yes, it is a long wall.)

gourmet therapy

2007-05-31T21:03:00.000-06:00

When I'm stressed or depressed, one of my favorite ways to deal with it is to cook. It's also a chance to experiment. Cooking is very zen for me. I'm totally present, and forget everything else. There's also a kind of dance to it - moving around the kitchen to the time of the dishes as I prepare them.

Tonight:

carrots sauteed in brandy and honey mustard

salmon poached in white wine with sweet sauteed onions and tarragon, finished with a splash of cream and chambord

to drink: kir (the white wine with a touch of chambord)

The carrots were OK, but the salmon is amazing.

(massage, cooking - why am I single?)

change of direction

2007-05-31T14:56:00.000-06:00

Well, I have enjoyed the last few months. I've been working from home for a company that was paying me a salary but not giving me much work (Pay-per-click advertising campaign management.) I knew it wouldn't last, but they've decided to end the contract... so now I need to start doing massage full time. And I need to make that start paying the bills within a couple of weeks.

I wish I had money saved up so I could lease a space, but it seems I may be doing outcall for a while. I hate outcall, even though it's what I thought I wanted to do, because I've found that 99% of outcall clients think they are getting something I don't do.

Oh, well. I'll make something work.
I always find a way to get by.

random brain spurt

2007-05-30T02:08:00.000-06:00

I've had too much caffeine (which for me, is not much - I don't consume it regularly so it's easy for me to get wired on the stuff) and so you get another post from me before I go try to fall asleep.

I wrote a rather enthusiastic but perhaps not entirely relevant review of Mystery Man's The Toy Maker. Hey, it was fun, but if you looked at the first link, I think you'll see the effects that caffeine have on my thoughts are rather similar to the effects on the spider's ability to spin a coherent web. Or at least, it feels that way at the moment.

Then I read this tidbit on Jane Espenson's blog:

I'm reminded of one of my first jobs. We were working together as a staff on a script. We had just put in a stage direction: Fran enters, walking on eggshells. After a moment's thought we changed it to something like Fran enters cautiously. The show had a very eager and very literal crew, and we feared that actual eggshells might appear on the set.

Which reminds me of something totally not related to screenwriting.
When I was a chef in Prague, one of the keys on the register was "misc food." When someone wanted extra dressing, or a side of bacon or whatever - the waitperson would ring it up as "misc food" with an appropriate price, and then was supposed to write on the ticket what the item was before giving the ticket to the kitchen. But, well, sometimes they would forget.

Cooks are troublemakers. Incompetent waitstaff are their favorite toys... and the tricks can be cruel, because incompetent waitstaff make our lives difficult and make us look bad. It's not uncommon for the cooks to stick a plate under the broiler and "forget" to warn the disliked waitperson. Which is not funny - it's downright dangerous. As a chef, I encouraged a little creativity among my staff in order to avoid the more extreme or nasty (such as spitting in the food, or dropping it on the floor) commonplaces. Misc food was our favorite.

One particularly vapid and annoying waitress (whom we had nicknamed the "Barbie Doll for her blonde hair and the cause of her glassy-eyed smile) was constantly making mistakes, who kept her job because she was a consummate brownnoser. Once she was so busy following the owner around, she had a table walk out on her. She never, ever wrote down what the misc food was supposed to be. So, we would set out a small side plate with her order - containing miscellaneous food. One olive, a crust of bread, and, usually - an eggshell.

She never did get that right. She ended up getting arrested when she ran out of happy pills and tried to slit her boyfriend's throat with a broken mirror. Yes, while she was on shift. Fortunately, it was in back of the kitchen rather than out on the floor. Barbiturate addiction is a terrible thing.

Oh, yes - my days as an expat are full of colorful characters and dramatic stories. It'll take a lifetime to weave them into my work... (so I don't need any more tragedies, OK universe? I'll be perfectly content to have happy stories from here on out.)

visual poetry

Cover Letter

An Alternative Approach

Women in Hollywood - Still a Long Way to Go

The Importance of Actors

an old poem

Streeetch

Cinematic Writing

By the Sequence

Characters I Love

Reviving Desire's Revenge

followup to last post

Voice

I'm Pissed at You

Creativity and Decisions

Getting Back Into It

Freedom, Structure & Creativity

Getting Organized

NYC Midnight challenge round 3

NYC Midnight challenge round 2

The Lie that Tells

Lemons: A Love Story

Done!

An Epic in 5 Pages (or less)??

Surfacing - Second Life, Role Playing Games, a new (old) challenge

Categorical

ridiculous

Re- re- re- re

Amazon's response

Dear Amazon

Getting Frenzied

Write Badly

Reminder to Self: How to Sell a Script

Dreaming Myself Awake

Destiny and other problems

technical problems

Los Angeles - grime and traffic

Scattershot

Catalysts

twitter

Update: Screenwriting Challenge

Barefoot In a Cactus Garden

round 2, Murder at India House

*squeeeeeeeeeeeee!!*

Faith

Desire's Revenge

recipe: Strawberry Ginger Salmon

ack!

yes I'm still alive out here

Where am I?

kitchen creativity

Golden Ages of Cinema

My friends are goofy.

No words...

He plays with his...

action!

slowdown

the Essential Caesura

bad movie making

Almodovar's Women

Sequence - the "Secret" Structure of Movies

quotes

Script Frenzy

Mystery Man Does It Again

breakthrough!

Write What You Know

Defending Home

Oscar Trends

Sex Toys!

Coming Soon to a Theater...or not

Depression and Creativity

Movie Character Careers

Science Fiction is Alive and Kicking

Puppy Needs Home

Merry Christmas!

216 Years

Taking a Moment to Weigh in on the Strike

Something Good

Exposition

Now that's over with

squeeeeeeeeeeeee!!